httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlzZpumutag

Were the Arquettes acting out their marriage troubles while filming this?  I’m expecting a Scooby Doo ending one way or the other.

Release Date (Ireland): April 2011

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZlQfT44Oww

Nic Cage growls at the camera while the poor man’s James Woods (William Fichtner) hunts him down. It looks like it’s full of the stupid along with explosions, muscle cars and girls in hot pants. Irresistible, no?

Release Date (Ireland): February 2011.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YkaY_KBPdc

If you keep going to these films, they’ll keep making them. Eventually they may even surprise us all and come up with something not so ineffably cliché ridden. 

And Mr De Niro, please stop focking with your legacy.

Release Date (Ireland): December 22.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQLfMm3PZPc

You’d be forgiven for thinking this could be some sort of miseryfest with Philip Seymour Hoffman and friends.  Instead, it’s a dystopian vampire revenge movie with Paul Bettany.

It looks loud, dumb and predictable.

No prizes for knowing which option I’d prefer.

Release Date (Ireland): 2011 (no date yet).

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxadCLtmRQA

Hollywood plunders its past again to give us another chance to marvel at a masked man and his ninja sidekick.

The release was delayed so it could be smeared it with a 3D conversion which will add exactly 110% worth of irratation to our viewing pleasure.

Release Date (Ireland): January 14, 2011.

I’d rather see the Kevin Smith version:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22PUIWI3p70#t=4m50s

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yosuvf7Unmg

This is how it looked in 1985.

And this is the 2010 version:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exNrmmwY0Z8

Yes. Back to the Future is back! In the the Future (that is now!)!  Well, at least in the cinemas. Following in the other great scifi trilogy’s footsteps, we’re getting an airbrushed version of our memories.

Release Date (Ireland): October 1.

Sure if you’re doing that, you may as well put an Ewok in the Delorean.

Oh.