Author Archives: John Moynes

At Stringfellows Covent Garden in London

The taxman once reckoned a dancer
Was being a bit of a chancer
For claiming relief
On clothes that were brief
But the judge gave a much better answer

Pic: Stringfellows

China said the United Kingdom should “refrain from being Washington’s sharksucker” after the warship HMS Albion (above) sailed through contested waters in the South China Sea.

The Chinese say they recommend
That Britain makes more than one friend
They won’t get a trade deal
While they crouch at Trump’s heel
And that’s what they want in the end

John Moynes

Pic:UK Defence Forces

Cavan sausage maker Barry has secured a place in the Guinness Book of World Records

A butcher called Barry John Crowe
Would like the entire world to know
He’ll put seventy eight
Sausages on your plate
In a minute, and that’s far from slow.

John Moynes

Pic: Guinness World Records

Communal trays at airports were found to have more germs than toilet areas

Flying can be such a drag
Like when you put your coat and your bag
In a manky old tray
And you know there’s no way
It’s ever been wiped with a rag

John Moynes

Pic: Dublin Airport

Businessman and presidential hopeful Seán Gallagher makes his pitch to elected members of Leitrim County Council yesterday

Seán Gallagher walked out unbowed
In Leitrim where he clearly vowed
That his Fianna Fáil past
Which left voters aghast
Is something of which he’s still proud

John Moynes

Pic via OceanFM


Leo Varadkar suggested during the Fine Gael leadership campaign the creation of “anonymous accounts to make positive comments under online stories on popular news websites”, according a new biography of the Taoiseach

If you wonder why some people choose
To talk on the web about news
There’s a chance, I’m afraid
That they’re being paid
To recycle other folk’s news

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Russian astronauts on board the International Space Station have reportedly patched a 2mm hole in the craft using sealant and a cloth

In space it just takes one small freak
Collision and you’ve got a leak
They’re not sure what to do
So here’s a quick clue:
Make spaceships that aren’t so damned weak

John Moynes

Pic: Nasa


Trinity College is seeking a wine distributor to supply it with “at least 8,466 bottles at a total estimated cost of €170,000 over a two-year period”.

The Trinity Fellows incline
To the very best things when they dine
And an evening of food
Must always include
Some bottles of rather nice wine

John Moynes

Pic: Tourism Ireland


Sean Gallagher (left) with Michael D Higgins at the Presidential election count in Dublin Castle, October 11, 2011

It still seems a little unclear
Why you’d run for the Áras this year
Unless starved for attention
Or seeking a pension
As Higgins has little to fear

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Gavin Duffy says he has re-mortgaged his home to raise up to €750,000 for a Presidential run

When making a bid for the throne
You don’t want to use funds of your own
So go to the bank
And be perfectly frank
And they’re certain to give you a loan.

John Moynes

Sam Boal/Rollingnews