Author Archives: John Moynes

258 runners were caught cheating in Shenzhen’s half marathon last Sunday

Could anything be as much fun
As a nice gentle thirteen mile run?
And if you find your feet
Are exhausted, just cheat
As hundreds of others have done

John Moynes

Pic: AP

Throwing your food in the bin
Is seen by the Greens as a sin
But now there’s a plan
To process your scran
And access the heat that’s within.

John Moynes

Pic: AP

A team with a tough match ahead
Got worried so one of them said
A player had died
Don’t worry, he lied
And it turns out nobody is dead

John Moynes

Fast track apartments announced by Minister for Housing Eoghan Murphy (above) may not be built until 2020

This morning the newspapers say
There’s going to be a delay
Before we build flats
Though I’m certain that’s
Something we’ll get round to, someday

John Moynes

Rollingnews


A study will look at how blue whale faeces contributes to nutrition levels in Antarctic waters

A stout-hearted maritime crew
Have rather an odd job to do
For week after week
They’re planning to seek
Some lumps of the world’s biggest poo

John Moynes

Pic: Wired

Former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has called for a curb on immigration in Europe to ‘stop the rise’ of the far right

You won’t see a sorrier sight
Than a loser who jumps to the right
And tries to outflank
The orange skinned crank
By spouting the same racist shite

John Moynes

Pic: Associated Press

New research suggests a third of eight-year-old boys are playing over-18s computer games

It would be a terrible shame
If a child gets a fright from a game
But if your little tot
Sees something they should not
You only have yourself to blame

John Moynes

Pic: DigitalTrends


Secret systems have been developed to ensure pilots who hate each other are never working on the same flight.

When thousands of feet in the air
One hopes the pilots all share
An outlook on life
That won’t lead to strife
And that neither have clicked “Do Not Pair

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

University College Dublin (UCD) exam hall at the RDS, May 2017

If you’d like to get a degree
Or perhaps even a PhD
It may seem like a feat
But it’s easy, just cheat
And hope that your tutors don’t see

John Moynes

Pic: Shnobs

We finally have a day when
The attention’s directed at men
But what I now fear
Is surviving a year
Until it all happens again

John  Moynes