John Moynes, July 16, 2012 (top) and today (above).
I’ve churned this crap out for two years,
To the sound of the commenters’ cheers,
Turning topical tales,
Into lyrical wails,
That are judged by anonymous peers.
John Moynes
FIGHT!
Tributes welcome below.
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2011 was 3 years ago.
Ma told me to be wary of someone with a beard
They are always someone to be feared
Blokes with beard always seem to embarass
From James Reilly to Rolf Harris
Thus I find it extremely weird….
This has the rhythm of a train breaking down.
or a John Moynes “limerick”
Is he dead?
I think someone stole him?
What sort of lock was on him? No sympathy…
Cue “We don’t normally do this” post
No lock used.
He didn’t stanza chance…
An ireland-shaped one.
I do not think the word cheers means what you think it means.
Nonetheless, congrats on your prodigious output, beardy man.
You have amused us through the years,
And sustained us through our tears,
It must take some time
To make rhymes so sublime,
You make it look easy when it really not at all easy. Oh no it’s not.
is that a fake beard?
About J. Moynes I don’t really care,
The who, or the why, or the where,
The stuff he may write,
Is best compared to …,
Not to mention his … facial hair.
In the way only we Irish can,
We’ll pat the back of the man,
Who drove us near mad
With this dodgey charade
And declare as his biggest fan
You’ve churned this crap out for two years,
To the sound of the commenters’ jeers,
Turning topical tales,
Into lyrical fails,
That are judged by anonymous peers.
Young John is a man with a mission
To conceive a daily composition
Thoughout this pursuit
He has grown quiet hirsute
And established a lyric tradition
this wins.
*throughout*
With a penchant for wearing two shirts
He is keen to dig up some dirt
On Magdelene laundries
Politicians in quandaries
But some comments can leave him butthurt
haha maybe I spoke to soon!
The Broadsheet allows me to skive
At least from 9-5 to five
With odd news on tap
And Limericks that amount to crap
You could drive a person to read Alive!
You’ve churned this crap out for two years,
To the sound of some commenters’ jeers,
From new liberals to old Coptics,
Each to their optics,
To the FIGHT! …say BS administers!
Fair play John !
I see you stole two of my words from above. I’m on to you Clampers ya thief..
Coincidence, I swear! :)
john, you have the beard of a long-term single man, which isn’t surprising if you tell the ladies (or gents) that you’ve been employed making up limericks for the past 3 years.
ah, unfair, he’s not bad looking.
Put your glasses on.
I can’t write for shite
But I know what I like
Commenters bikes
And colourful dykes
Get more likes
I like this one best because it’s not a Limerick
News stories both grand and pathetic
Summarised in a manner poetic
By a whimsical bard
Who’s a stranger to lard
And a master of witty phonetic
The tributes to Moynes said ‘well played’
After years of poems not often staid
But the truth is, you see
That he’s working for free
Cough up Ryan, the man should get paid
By definition, a Limerick is witty;
An amusing, short little ditty.
But to our lament
After 730 attempts
Moynes efforts get more and more $hitty…
Winning!
there once was a man named moynes
who lived in a tent outside foynes
everyday he did pray
for something funny to say
or broadsheet would jump on his loins
Just look at Moynes up on the net,
with a head you cant fail to forget,
and a dodgy auld beard,
that looks feckin’ weird,
somebody should call him a vet.
‘Gwan,ya good thing ya….
Poor John gets a whole load of stick
For writing the odd limerick
He’s been at it three years
Through cheers, jeers & tears
Hats off to ‘im, its no easy trick
Beards, beards, EVERYWHERE!!!
His is particularly ridiculous looking.
John entered the fray with a limerick a day.
with a head like a shaving brush.
But is his mop blonde or grey?
I really can’t say
from the picture
he has
provided.
It looks like it’s just as I feared
We truly have now reached peak beard
What John Moynes has grown
Makes me ponder my own
Though maybe it’s just his is weird
Ah crap, didn’t see FluffyBiscuits’ one above. Now I just look like a hairy-faced plagiarist.
Back in me box.
One must admit Moynes is persistent
A Limerick A Day is resistant
to critics who crow,
As all here should know
The trick is in being consistent
To put out a volume of work
And to infuse a topical quirk
It’s not just prolific
It’s downright horrific
It would drive lesser folk quite beserk!
impressed
He was born on a cold frosty night,
and his mammy recoiled at the sight,
Now his crimes against fashion,
could earn him a thrashin’,
so he never comes out when its bright.
I’ve got no poem to put here, so ill just say “keep’em coming”!
Do away with that god-awful beard,
It just makes you look fuckin weird.
Did you not hear it leaked
That face-hair has peaked,
And shaving’s back in, I’m afeared.
mine is a haiku…
na forget it…go on John !
Sorry ladies, he’s married.
Wow, I always imagined him as being in his late 50’s and clean shaven…
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=ztvn7b&s=8#.U8b-vrEyloA
I am surprised this Limerick came out on topic as opposed to three days later.
I congratulate him on managing to convince people that his outputs are worthy of publication (even on an online/low standard format) for two years. Now THAT’S impressive.