Brown Bread Wars!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYwcYSg2-zE

The National Brown bread Making Competition sponsored by Aldi

Don’t be fooled by the smiles and pleasantries.

This is crumb-strewn domestic drama of the highest quality.

Joanne writes:

“Who says there isn’t pride in baking a brown bread…note the emotions of our 8 finalists who now head to the Aldi tent of the National Ploughing Championships [next month].

To celebrate we have a €100 voucher ( yes ONE HUNDRED EUROS) for Aldi (which you may spend on brown bread or other items at any Aldi store). Just complete this sentence. ‘Irish brown bread is special because_________'”

*ties apron*

Lines MUST close at 2.15pm 2.45pm

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41 thoughts on “Brown Bread Wars!

  1. Clampers Outside!

    ‘Irish brown bread is special because …my Mam makes the best brown bread in Ireland, bar none’

    * Stands tall legs akimbo, adjusts suspenders of French maids outfit … twirls rolling pin and shouts “Hooyeah!” *

  2. James M. Chimney

    Irish Brown Bread is special because of the memories it invokes, the last breakfast with my father before I got on that plane to Boston, he died soon after. Smoked Salmon on brown bread with my mother on a crisp Christmas day she slipped of this mortal coil a month later…brown bread.

  3. Shelly

    Because theres nothing like the smell of freshly baked bread, straight out of the oven, still warm when you cut in, butter melting on impact, with a bit of jam or served with soup, there’s no other taste like home!

  4. Alan

    Irish brown bread is special because,
    Irish mammies, they make it with love.
    They knead, dust and pummel,
    While bellies, they rumble,
    For a feed and a nice cup of tea.

  5. Optimus Grime

    Irish Brown Bread is special because it can be a noun, rhyming slang and ice cream all at the same time!

  6. Shelly

    Because theres nothing like the smell of freshly baked brown bread, straight out of the oven, still warm when you cut in, butter melting on impact, with a bit of jam or served with soup, there’s no other taste like home!

    *forgot the word Brown!

  7. Mick Flavin

    Irish brown bread is special because…

    …the smell of it baking causes a stirring in my loins…Before I even see its voluptuous, tanned surface I’m imagining myself slowly spreading some butter (or equally sensuous oleaginous product) over a still hot, slightly steaming endpiece…Then enveloping it, testing its robust yet yielding texture with avid, lusting lips and teeth…

    *shudders*

    …Thanks a million, you’re after setting off the sitophilia again…

    *Checks into clinic*

  8. Aido

    Irish brown bread is special beause it’s the perfect metaphor for ‘the craic’. Hard and craggly to outside appearances (taking the piss out of people is a big part of ‘the craic’) but with an inviting smell (how much fun we’re all having), soft and tender on the inside (the more we insult you the better we like you, and the more ‘craic’ you are), blends well with so many other flavours (we love to share ‘the craic’ with everyone, regardless of nation or creed) and it’s perfectly at home next to a pint of Guinness and some butter (and optional cheese and onion taytos. Or even, dare I say it, vegemite and goats cheese!) And after 3 years of living away from home I also realise that like the craic, true brown bread can be found nowhere else in the world.

  9. pooter

    KYBO, my granny would say to me..eat lots of my home made brown bread and it will keep your bowels open

  10. paul m

    Irish brown bread is special because nothing surpasses a piping hot soft slice cut staight from the oven its malty goodness melting the slathered salty soft butter seeping slowly through its core dripping sensuously over your flour dusted fingers as you savour every inch of its sublime…. i have a problem. a problem that a 100quid aldi voucher could fix.

  11. Nigel

    Irish brown bread is special because it is slang for death and as I bite through the thick crust and savour the crumbling wheat, the smooth cold butter and the sweetness of the jam I contemplate the empty vastness of unkown death while sustaining my body to forestall that eternity of nothingness.

  12. Brainer

    Irish brown bread is special because within is our history so kneaded with love- doughn’t look past dear Eire, don’t bother your head, true we need our mammies more than they knead our bread.

  13. fluffybiscuits

    Irish brown bread is special because it is designed to be sliced and then served with mildly roasted Ardagh Brie and all finished with almonds and Kilcree manuka honey, just a touch that then throws a party in my mouth…

    Shag it Im starving again…

  14. Custo

    Irish brown bread is great because a slice or two will line your stomach for drinking, eat it with butter & sugar when you get home with the beer hunger & in the morning when it’s ‘gone off’ it makes unbelieveable toast.

  15. Aine

    Brown Bread is special because…. the warmth, smell, combined crunchy crust and soft crumb…. is all worth scalding the fingertips off yourself trying to get it out of the oven as soon as possible… no pain no gain!

  16. aine

    Irish brown bread is special because it is the perfect accompaniment to that other irish institution..the cup of tea!

  17. Chrissy

    ‘Irish brown bread is special because it reminds me of when I was a kid baking with mom, and it’s nice to have something tasty after putting a bit of work in!!”

  18. Eve

    Irish brown bread is special because it reminds us of homemade soup, a log fire, the comfort of home…

  19. karlj

    Irish brown bread is special because it brings me back to my young days, my parents caring home & bread made with love.

  20. Davey T

    Irish brown bread is special because it has been a constant through irish history- from helping to save millions from starvation in the famine era, providing a home comfort for emigrants since the 19th century, making a meal of thousands of otherwise plain soups, and creating a smell that instantly reminds people of their grannies. Brown bread, the true Irish hero.

  21. SB

    Irish brown bread is special because it always comes balancing on the edge of the plate a bowl of soup in a pub comes on, with a few of those butter-in-the-foil yokes that you don’t mind spreading unhealthily thickly on it, and who has soup with a pint of Guinness anyway – but you ARE on holidays after all…

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