Ask A Broadsheet Reader



It’s always the last resort.

Steve writes:

“I was clamped for being parked “in 3 spaces” in the apartment block where I live. Maybe I am biased so I was looking for your readers opinions. I am basically on the white lines, but my spot is against the wall so I have to come out a bit to fit. And as long as I have lived there all 5 spots around me have been empty. I think it just highlights the issues of private bullshit clamping.To be fair they are going to deal with it quickly…. ‘We will endeavour to respond to you within 28 working days once a full review of your case has been completed, and a decision has been made’.”


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142 thoughts on “Ask A Broadsheet Reader

  1. James

    It’s like getting a house, and putting your plants in neighbours garden, and saying that your garden doesn’t get enough sun…

    Even if no one lives there – still not ok…

    1. phil

      Thats a little unfair, its a fine looking 4×4 , I wonder does he have many cattle , I will admit though , having grown up on a farm myself, and apartment block is a strange place for a farmer to live, but who knows his circumstances …

  2. Outta me Bento Box

    instead of moaning why don’t you attend the AGM of the Management company and either propose a change or even better stand for election for the Management Committee?

    Bullsh1t Private Clamping? It’s your private company doing the clamping

  3. dylad

    As long as you lived there all 5 spots around me have been empty….no wonder with the way you park, ya big bohunkas.

  4. Frank AC

    I wouldn’t say you’ve taken 3 spaces, but the front end of the car does take up about two feet of the space in front of you.

    1. Steph

      Yeah I’d say definitely two spaces (ie the one in front) but I also think it’s ridiculous to clamp a car with permission to park in that car park over such an issue. Leave it between residents to sort out. A note on the windscreen would do.

      Then again you also shouldn’t buy a big car if you can’t park it properly and/or it doesn’t fit in your parking space.

  5. James Heron

    My experience is that private clamping companies review the case and then reject it. This happened to me, my car was clamped and they rejected my grounds for appeal. I had to threaten the company with the small claims court before they refunded my de-clamping fee. You’ll probably have to do the same.

  6. ReproBertie

    Your front wheel is beyond the line meaning everything in front of that is in the space in front making it too small for anyone with anything bigger than a smart car to use.

    Your excuse that your car is too big for your space certainly highlights the issue of bullshit self entitled parking.

  7. Zoolander

    Not that I agree with clampers or anything but your reason explains why you would be on the line on your drivers side but not why your car is 3 feet into the space in front of you.

  8. Max Power

    thats a lovely jammer, had one myself…very comfortable. The problem is the not the jeep size, but the space provided to park in. I have noticed this alot in carparks and underground private parking places. the spaces give you very little room to park anything bigger than a small 4 door car. What about families with 3 or more kids where they have to use an MPV or Jeep. Smaller spaces and more of them thats their thinking behind it.
    Anyway, what i would like to think id do would be to remove the clamp by breaking the lock, i would also leave a replacment lock and key. Therefore clampers are not out of pocket and nothing damaged. Make sure your not on CCTV too. Finally, when the clampers come around i just say I didnt touch it – someonelse must have removed it. Can they prove you took it off?

          1. Max Power

            most estate cars these day dont have seats in the boot….the ones that do loose their boot space when used.

        1. Rep

          Is that a joke? There was 5 in my family growing up and we all were able to fit into cars smaller than a corolla. Got a bit hairy when we became teenagers but at that stage the folks could barely stand being in a room with us all let alone a car.

          1. Max Power

            back in the 70s & 80s they didnt have the laws they have today about child seat requirements and seat belts. Your point is null and void.

          2. ReproBertie

            I was going to say that but Max beat me to it. We had 6 kids in a Renault 12 estate but that usually involved 2 in the boot and you can’t get away with that any more.

            I d be versy surprised if any small cars can fit 3 child seats in the back and strapping a child into the middle one, assuming it did fit, would be impracticable.

        1. Squiggleyjoop

          When I was a kid our father would cram all 17 of us into a mini and then drive it over a cliff and kill us. Then he’d wake us up before we even fell asleep that night and tell us to fix the car using only our shoelaces. But try telling that to the kids of today.

        1. Spartacus

          Used to get all six of us in the back of a beetle. Two sitting sideways in the “boot” behind the back seat (on top of the engine), four sitting on the rear bench seat, not a seatbelt, child seat or airbag in sight. Happy days.

      1. Max Power

        3 kids in full child seats, not just booster seats? And do you have a double buggy in the boot too? and will your weekly shopping fit in there?

        1. ReproBertie

          If only there was some way to carry items on the roof of a car rather than forcing people to buy a minibus.

          1. ReproBertie

            Ha ha! You have to resort to insults because an obvious solution was presented and it disagreed with your “I need a bigger car” solution. You’re (note the spelling) obviously having issues coping with that tiny penis and tiny brain. Why else go by such a big strong name?

          2. Max Power

            Max Power is just my name. You are the one hiding behind some stupid name on here. Well as i said you are one of the unluckly ones to have no wife and no kids. You probably have absolutly no experience with this issue. Why arse around with lifting a double buggy onto a roof of a car when if you can afford it buy a jeep or MPV. Not every person is physically able to lift a buggy up onto a roof of a car or take it down. Think before you post. Go back to your crying chair you lonley boy.

          3. Sidewinder

            Potential reasons:

            1. Because my partner also has a car
            2. Because I can’t fit either of those cars in my parking space
            3. Because if I hit a person with a jeep I’m way more likely to kill than injure them
            4. Because I care about the environment my 17 kids and their kids will live in when I’m dead.

          4. ReproBertie

            Yes, of course Max Power is your real name. Changed it from Homer did you?

            I love the assumptions though. I could almost be upset but then I’d have to care what some anonymous stranger on the internet, kicking out at the world over the injustice of a small member and a lack of upper body strength, imagines my life to be like.

          5. Max Power

            Your assumptions are lovely too.
            Im not kicking out at the world, just repling to your post that people just need a roof box and that solves the issue of anyone needing an MPV or Jeep. What a load of shite.

          6. ReproBertie

            Yeah, my reply was to your moan about losing the boot space for your buggy and shopping, not a solution to everyone who “needs” a jeep/mpv.

            Your response was insults and assumptions. As Will Smith said, “don’t start nuthin’, won’t be nuthin’.”

          7. Sidewinder

            1. I’m not a man.
            2. Are you really complaining about someone using insults instead of arguing when, instead of arguing my four reasons, you simply call me an idiot?

            There’s a pot over here that has something to tell you.

          8. ReproBertie

            Yes, ignore what I said and attack where the source. Here’s another couple of sources but the message is the same “he that seeketh mischief, it shall come unto him.” Proverbs 11:27 or even “Ná bac le mac an bhacaigh is ní bhacfaidh mac an bhacaigh leat”.
            Tossing insults around won’t change that you got all annoyed about the suggestion of a roof box instead of a small-penis-compensation device and threw a little tantrum instead of giving reasons why it wouldn’t suit (e.g. your lack of upper body strength).

    1. mauriac

      I find Irish multi-story parking to be generally on the tight side.thinking seems to be how many spaces can we cram in not how easy will this be to use.bad planning I suppose.

    2. Spaghetti Hoop

      I’m not a jeep-driver but you are right about smaller spaces. I cite the Heuston Quarter / Supervalu underground car park as an example. I am guessing that either previous dimensions were generously over the minimum standard and have been clawed back, or the minimum size itself has reduced.

    3. Steph

      I have a corrolla hatchback that happily fits three kids. Four, maybe not if I was with a co-parent, but tbf how many people have four kids and live in an apartment block?

      1. Max Power

        is that 3 kids all in car seats and a double buggy in the boot too?
        Plenty of familys with 4 kids i would think live in apartment blocks. there are 3 and 4 bed duplex apartments available. Also, maybe he uses the jeep for its off road abilities?

  9. Celticon

    I think you’re a brave man, Steve, coming on here with that picture. By the look if it you are obviously way over into the space in front of you. Whatever argument you might have about the side, if my space was in front of yours I’d be well pissed off.

  10. Terapin

    Lets just say that the people that have just moved into the Apartment that owns the space in front of yours. Do they park in the wrong space and risk a clamp? Or report your a*se ways parking and then get permission to park somewhere else?!
    Sorry Pal, Shot youself in the foot with this one!

  11. pdmc

    First, it strikes me that the clamper is an asshole and he was just *looking* for a way to make money rather than ensure or enforce the rules of the parking lot.

    Second, had they used any judgement whatsoever they’d have determined that it was still very easy to park another can in the adjacent spaces and so you weren’t actually causing a huge problem, provided the car parking directly in front of your vehicle was something small and nothing of similar size to your own. But, otherwise, the front overhang of the SUV is way over the line for the space in front and I’d argue that you did use two spaces. So, you were taking the piss a little.

    If you need a measure of how well you’re parked in any space, always look at the size of your car in the space and ask yourself – can someone else driving the same model as me comfortably fit their car next to mine? If not, move your car until that would be possible.

    Finally, if you can’t fit your car of choice in the parking spaces where you live, then perhaps it’s not suitable for your lifestyle and you should trade it in and buy something that you can manage and live with, like, a Polo. You might have more luck with parking that properly.

  12. Clampers Outside!

    Looks like a pop-lock on that clamp. Go to the boot and take out the tire iron, give it a good whack and it should pop open without damaging the lock …and drive away.

    You’re welcome.

  13. Jack Aranda

    Sorry, Steve – You’re a good 2-3 feet into the space in front of you. While bullshit private clamping is a menace, I don’t think you’ve much cause for complaint here.

  14. Steve

    Maybe they should have just done me for 2 places! Looks like I’m down €120.00. I asked for your opinions and got them. Still ragin’

  15. ___

    To be bluntly honest, you’re just not very good at parking.

    There’s really no excuse for being .5m into the spaces on the right. This is probably the main reason for being clamped.

    The spot is a bit tight on the side but with a bit of practice (and maybe pulling in the wing-mirror) you’ll be able to get it in fine. It’s super simple stuff.

    You were quite justly clamped, please don’t go making someone’s life difficult because you feel like blaming someone else.

  16. GangstaTim

    Sorry no sympathy here. I think they were right to clamp you. You are needlessly parked across more spaces than you are entitled to. Just because no cars are usually park here doesn’t mean you are entitled to park in them. Should have more consideration for others in future.

  17. ahyeah

    Reminds me of the time I got that big 8-seater sofa. Problem was it wouldnt fit in my 10-sq-metre bedsit so I had to knock through the neighbour’s wall. He was quite unhappy about that… I mean: what else was I supposed to do?

  18. Custo

    Brand new truck
    Butter soft seats
    4 point something with a low ride something
    Ain’t nothing better than to ride out the hood with it
    Who looking better and damn you looking good in it

  19. Eulich McGee

    I don’t understand why anyone would want to live in a gaff without it’s own proper driveway anyway unless you really want to live in a city centre in which case why not use a bike or public transport, if you want the best of both worlds and need a car for weekend use then leave it in the long term at the airport or just move a mile or two out of the city and get a proper house where you can park badly on your own land and own animals and have a garden and talk to your neighbours and do all the things that make life wonderful and worthwhile.

    Having said that, this is possible the wankiest bit of parking I have seen in a long time and if I were you I would just ditch the wheels and leave driving to people who know how to do it.

    1. Anne

      Does look to wanky too me.

      Regarding parking the car at the airport for weekend use, that’s a bit inconvenient really.

      I do know of people that use public transport during the week all right, and rent a car at the weekend.
      You can rent a car for 15 euro a day.. works out cheaper than having a car if you’re only using it at weekends, and have good public transport for midweek.

      1. Anne

        Ahhh.. * doesn’t

        (and with the 15 euro, you don’t have to worried about car tax, nct, insurance, etc)
        Works out well for some.

  20. Speakeasy

    I think you may have come to the wrong place for sympathy. Sort of like a cat running for cover to a warehouse full of pit bulls…

  21. Max Power

    All the begrudgers come out when they see a guy in a jeep complaining….just cause he has a nice jeep thats the reason assholes on here slag him. He has a jeep, big f-ing deal, he has done well for himself big deal. Thats no reason to slag him.

    1. Mr. T.

      Those are cheap enough second hand. No indication of disposable income. They’re ten a penny in Blanchardstown. Drug dealers love them too.

      Does it ever occur to you that people spend their money on other things like furthering their education doing a Masters degree or maybe nice holidays, house extension, holiday home, expensive hobby?

      Not everyone is so insecure that they have to flaunt wealth and be showy.

    2. Steve

      I need a jeep, how else can I tow my boat? I may just moor it next year so I can down size which apparently makes me a better person with a bigger dick? Feedback is very funny, I have paid it and had it unclamped in the meantime. I was just venting. But Max Power knows his stuff.

      1. Max Power

        Thanks Steve,
        I too know your pain with these small car spaces. 20-30 years ago cars/jeeps were built smaller and have over the years increased in size…car spaces seem to have not.
        Keep the jeep, those who slag it off are just jealous they havent got one…all this gas guzilling nonsence – oh i hate that shite…enjoy it and ignore these moaning turds.

    3. Vlad

      +1 It’s funny to see how many people with butthurt due to a jeep (which is actually not even a jeep, more of a lifted estate). Makes me want to buy a Hammer just for lulz.

      Sure, parking job is not very nice here, but clampers have to right to judge it. What if he agreed on it with a neighbors? Should he still be fined if there is no harm done to anyone?

  22. Murtles

    Is it marked as a designated parking spot? Does each apartment/house have an allocated place? If so I can’t understand why clampers (not you Clampers) would think it’s an offence if it’s a official parking spot. Maybe you’ve just been getting away with it now and your goose is cooked. If there is no one in the other spots in all the time you’re there, why not use one of them? If someone says, that’s my spot (again how do people know their spots) then move to the next one, it’ll be unlikely all five will be after you at the one time (and again if they have cause to move you then where is you’re spot meant to be?) Unless it’s a left hand drive, and it doesn’t look it, it’ll be mirrors in and hug the wall from here on in.

  23. Fudge

    You park like an inconsiderate d***head and by the sounds of your arrogant, self absorbed moaning are one. Park your car like a normal person and stop thinking the world exists to serve you.

  24. Anne

    Big jeep, big ____ hmmm
    I think the Broadsheet boys have a bit of big thing envy going on.

    It’s clearly not taking up more than 1 spot.
    Clamp should be forcefully removed and flupped in the bin in my opinion, and let them sue you for the cost of it, if they are inclined to do so.
    Picture clearly shows you are not taking up 3 spots.
    What an annoying inconvenience to your day.
    You could be a doctor on the way to work to perform neurosurgery for a critically ill patient.
    This sort of nonsense should not be allowed.

    1. Spartacus

      Lets face it, roughly one third aren’t old enough to drive, one third don’t have a job and can’t afford a car, most of the remainder travel by lentil-fuelled alpaca. Tuareg shmuareg. I’d like to see APCOA try to clamp my helicopter. The good times are back, baby!!

    2. rotide

      The rapture may have started but I’m going to have to agree with Anne here.

      He’s encroaching a little into the space in front of him but its hardly classic parking is it?

      Also, the jeep envy is ridiculous.

  25. Lazlo Panaflex

    personally I think its a joke that you could be fined for parking where you live just because some loser with his ruler and clamp decides that you are a couple of mm over the edge of line, the space looks too small. also how much is release fee probably 80 quid, how long does it take sitting at your desk or where ever to earn that amount of money to waste it on some pr*** and his clamp

  26. Anne

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  27. Eoghany

    The haters are unbelievable!! It’s like we all hate anyone who is not on the dole, and can’t afford their next meal.. Anyway, as someone points out, this vehicle is probably worth about a third of a new Clio! Steve, you’ve been subjected to a really unfair clamp. Slice the fuppln thing off with an angle grinder.

  28. H

    …my spot is against the wall so I have to come out a bit to fit

    Did it ever occur to you to let your passengers out/in just outside the spot? I’ve had to do that where I live ever since some plonker put a bush in a patch of land that was due to be concreted over.

    I agree with everyone who notes that the car is too far forward in the space and as for the needing a jeep argument, I have two words – Mondeo estate, it will fit the kids, shopping, double buggy and probably the kitchen sink, and it’s cheaper to run :-)

    1. Max Power

      A mondeo estate wont fit 3 child seats accross the back seat. Everything else about the mondeo is true…nice car.

  29. AhHereLeaveItOut

    In Conclusion:
    Steve’s a knob who can’t park and with no self awareness/the hapless victim of an overly zealous clamper and should resort to mild vandalism
    BS readers don’t like knobs like Steve, unnecessarily large cars in an urban setting, bad parking, clampers or anyone who disagrees with said dislikes.
    We all feel better for giving our meaningless opinions on a subject which does not affect us in the slightest, and look forward to the next opportunity 30 seconds from now.

  30. Smeghead

    In an ideal world, the clampers should have contacted you (as it’s an allocated spot, I assume they know where you live)and given you a warning.

    But no, it’s modern Ireland, so Cha-Ching!!

  31. bruce01

    111 Comments, with specifically asked-for advice from BS readers, and nobody can come up with “CLASSIC PARKING”? ANYONE?

  32. Anorak Type Blogger

    Is there some sort of legal protection for private campers in private places?

    Can’t you just cut the thing off and tell them to swing?

  33. Clo

    On the one hand I don’t have much sympathy for the poster, but at the same time this looks like one of these Celtic tiger apartment blocks where in order to squeeze in a few more apartments with the requisite parking they made the spaces really really tiny, the result being that anyone driving anything larger than a moped can’t possibly fit in just one without exiting the car via the sunroof. In which case clamping for slightly infringing another, empty, space is quite unfair.

  34. Tom Stewart

    Wow, what a response! could easily be rebranded as “”.

    I know all of this has been said before, but anyway.

    My first big question for you Steve is: from where in God’s name are you getting that parking “on the white lines” is the yardstick of good parking? As evidenced by your own parking, doing so renders many of the adjacent spaces unusable. All of your car (not just your tyres) should be WITHIN the white lines – and well so if possible.

    Speaking about encroaching into the space NEXT to you, it’s hard for us to judge without a picture of how much space you left by the wall. But it would seem as though the problem there is that the parking space is too small/your car is too bloody big (you do not, by the way, have a right to buy a monstrously-sized car and then expect the rest of the world to deal with it).

    But speaking about encroaching into the space in front of you, ARE YOU BLOODY INSANE? How do you even possibly think that it’s OK to take up about a meter of the space in front of you with your bonnet? Are you visually impaired?

  35. yourcommentisawaitingmoderation

    Steve, I’m late to this but do you owe the apartment where you live? If so, start going to the meetings and campaign to have the private clamping stopped in the car park.

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