How To Not Do That



Is this yours?

Take a seat.

Bonkers writes:

“I know you don’t normally do this but if you did normally do this then maybe you wouldn’t have to do the thing that you don’t normally do so much.
What’s wrong with the bike (above)? On first inspection it feels like your eyes are being violated but zoom in and take a close look at the lock and you see that this bike isn’t actually locked to anything.
All a thief has to do is stretch that cable by hand and then feed it past the saddle and around the rear wheel and suddenly Broadsheet are doing the thing that they don’t normally do.
The ironic thing is a victim of such a theft comes back to see no bike but a fully intact lock hanging off the bike rack. No doubt they are left scratching their head thinking Harry Houdini just nicked their bike using escapism. Not so, opportunity makes the thief and a bike ‘locked’ in that fashion is the easiest opportunity of all, it requires no tools, just a keen eye and your bike is gone in seconds.
So lock your bikes people, check out the Sheldon locking technique and make sure your lock is going through the triangle in the frame and also through the rear wheel too as it is often the second most expensive component on a bike yet stolen in seconds with a allen key…”

Thanks Bonkers.

*slinks off to pub*

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13 thoughts on “How To Not Do That

  1. Pale Blue Dot Cotton

    Wouldn’t it have to stretch around the wheel too? Pretty sure nobody would rob it anyway, whether it was locked or not.

    1. Zynks

      when combined with give and hard it might be associated with bestiality by someone with a seriously small dingy lingy.

      1. Fig leaf

        That lock could be cut with scissors, the number of crap locks I see on bikes around town is staggering.

  2. Laura

    Ok the stretchy lock looks flimsy but see that black thing on the back wheel? That’s called a shopping lock and it’s part of the bike’s frame. It passes a solid bar through the spokes making it impossible to wheel the bike along, so if they did take off the stretchy lock they could carry the bike off but they certainly won’t be cycling it without inflicting some serious damage.

    1. Anon

      Looks like a heavy Dutch style bike. If that back lock is locked you’d need to be pretty determined to drag that bike away.

      It is a little extra hassle but having seen how easily some people can steal a bike, locking the back wheel is the only way. It also helps make it so the bike is less likely to fall over too.

  3. Soundings

    Was in Ikea the other day in up-and-coming Ballymun, and there were around six intact locks in the bicycle stands, all of them heavy duty feckers unlike the cheesy string above.

    A lot of bikes these days have easily detached front wheels (and even if they’re not, it’s 15 seconds with a wrench to detach them), so the bike above could probably be easily lifted, the rear lock might be a problem when in situ in broad daylight on a busy street, but another 15 seconds with a drill in the privacy of your shed where you’d presumably take it to give it a re-paint…

    1. Tom Stewart

      Also, that “Sheldon Guide” is poorly described, and makes a lot of assumptions.

      It also encourages people to leave bike locks attached to bike parking until you bring your bike back to it. This is:

      – inconsiderate: I think it makes the street uglier to have these locks just lying around
      – only useful if you only use a bike to go from A to B, and B to A, and nothing else
      – dumb: there is nothing to stop someone arriving to that bike parking and taking your spot.

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