Johnny Gets The Feeling He’s Surrounded By

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Winners, winners, winners.

Ok one winner

.But many runnners-up runners-up-runners-up.

The obsessive Patti Smith fan and winner of a pair of tickets to her concert at the Royal Hospital, Kilmainhan, Duiblin on the June bank Holiday Monday has been selected.

Runners up:

Duffles; “Please give the Patti Smith tickets to my beloved Pete because he is obsessed with Patti Smith, he saw her once before in concert and when he talks about it gets a faraway look is his eye and starts shifting in his seat while talking about her ‘charisma’ and ‘presence’ and then disappears off for a suspiciously long shower. Which I wouldn’t mind, but he tends to bring the horse in there with him and the hooves do be making an awful hames of the tub.”

Brian:  “Please give the Patti Smith tickets to Claire because she is obsessed with Patti Smith, to the point where she broke down in tears after passing (and then following) Patti on Baggot Street recently. A total turn-around from when she was a Hanson-loving 12 year old tasked with buying a Patti Smith cd for her mother, and after scouring the country music section for a good half hour (because obviously her mother was asking her to buy some lame cd, and obviously anyone called Patti was a country music crooner- Dolly, Patsy, Tammy…) returned empty-handed (because obviously she couldn’t ask the 16 year old dreamboat behind the counter for help looking for a lame country cd). Ah go on!”

Darragh:” Please give the Patti Smith tickets to the American man (whose name I never ending up getting) because he is obsessed with Patti Smith. ’Twas about a year ago, and I found myself up in the gods inside Carnegie Hall of all places, at a benefit concert for Tibet (friend offered up ticket after an unfortunate zoo accident, but that’s a story for another comp). Patti herself was on the bill, and sat next to me was Patti Smith’s biggest fan (t-shirt declaring such) and what seemed to be a girlfriend who was visibly chosen for her vague “Patti-like if you squint” features. Their conversation ranged from his favourite Patti album (Horses) to his favourite Patti hair colour (“mousey”). About half way through the night, Philip Glass walks on stage and himself sees it as the perfect chance for a wazz break. He leaves, and it turns out Glass is only on to introduce Patti Smith, who comes on and delivers a heart-breaking cover of ‘Perfect Day’ in honour of the then recently deceased Lou Reed. The tears flow. Standing ovation. Himself potters back a few minutes later complaining about “that gawddam line for the gawddam restrooms”. The girlfriend DOESN’T tell him what he just missed and he finishes the night wondering why his beloved Patti never showed. Assuming he later found out, and assuming he broke up with the missus for not dragging him back mid-wazz, I’m sure he’d be more than willing to come along with me to the gig in June once I track him down in NY… Or maybe he’ll read this? If so, I was the fella sat on your right eavesdropping on all of yer conversations.”

Des: “Please Please Please give the Patti Smith tickets to me Des because me and my lovely wife Claire left their firstborn (eek!) at the tender age of a week old with a lovely caring Auntie in Dublin and rocked out to Patti at Vicar Street a few years ago. Mummy was sleep deprived, Daddy was sleep deprived but it was their first foray into testing if one could have a kid and rock! (kinda)….So we’re obsessed with Patti Smith and we’d LOVE the tickets cos now our little boy and little girl rock to Horses too when we play it! THE END :-) (*wipes tear*)”

Elsa crowley: “Please give the tickets to ME as I am obsessed with Patti Smith. Got my love from Patti Smith from my sister. I was living in new york last year and was in the strand book store and I saw her book Just Kids. I spent the next few weeks reading and re-reading, to the annoyance of my friends. I even chopped off my long hair in solidarity with her at the part in the book. I was walking through alphabet city with a friend one morning and I saw this being in front of me, I squeaked with joy. This is it, the moment, the story I can recant at dinner parties. It was Patti Smith. I grabbed my friend and for some reason started skirting along the buildings, as close as possible, like a ninja. Following Patti. Trying desperately to think of what to say to an idol. We followed for maybe 9 blocks and then the former turned. I could barely breathe. My friend was in a fit of laughter as we found that my wonderful idol was a beautiful looking man in his twenties, meeting his girlfriend for brunch. Hopefully winning these tickets can be my new anecdote ha.”

Winner:

Chris: “Please give the Patti Smith tickets to my girlfriend because she is obsessed with Patti Smith. But more importantly give them to her because at the moment she is working a crap job for poor money for the sole reason that it’s the only job she could get that would give her the flexibility to work towards becoming a full time musician with her band. Patti Smith has been a huge inspiration to her musically but has also (quite sincerely) been a guiding light for her as a woman who at times struggles to identify with a world that is filled with inequality. I can’t say I’ve been a stellar boyfriend these last couple of weeks and I would love to at least try and make it up to her by giving her something that would make her as happy as this would. She’s the kind of person that would give the other ticket to someone here who wanted it as badly as she does here on BS.”

Thanks all.

Update:

Owing to the heart rending nature of many of the entries We intend to have a ‘word’ with POD about some passes.*taps nose*

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10 thoughts on “Johnny Gets The Feeling He’s Surrounded By

  1. rotide

    Darraghs and Elsa’s stories were clearly the best of the lot, but owing to the fact that broadsheet is becoming more of a parody website than WWN, the woman ‘struggling to identify with a world filled with inequality’ wins.

    jesus wept

  2. Chris

    Just told her there and she can’t believe she has won. Thanks to BS and the judge(s). You have made a special person very very happy (her). You may also have saved me from the eternal doghouse. Thank you!

  3. ESV

    Darragh and Elisa have to get tickets too!!! Go on POD, find that tiny heart beating somewhere in your nether regions.

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