28 thoughts on “De Thursday Papers

  1. Kieran NYC

    The *spits* Daily Express always has some health story on its front pages to scare/cheer its ailing, aging readership in equal measure, no matter what is actually happening in the world. Gas altogether.

    1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

      who gives a rats poo chute…

      I nearly fell off my hoverboard.
      Stop being so funny Joe. It’s not cool.

    2. Chris

      They are desperate because there’s been no good celebrity deaths in ages, Malaria not likely to push her off the coil though. Cheryl is strong, she’ll beat Malaria as if it were no more than a helpless timid bathroom attendant powerless under her fury.

  2. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

    The ‘News’ is never ‘The News’.
    It’s all boobs, bafflement, bull**** and bragging.

    Mostly Bull****.though.
    I know. I read a ‘newspaper’ once.
    I should know.

    You should know.

    1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

      Slow down.
      The Examiner is the funniest paper out there.
      -Just start reading it in a Cork accent, it’s hilarious.

    2. Kieran NYC

      The Examiner actually does some good investigative stuff. Moreso than the IT anyway.

      Pity its website is pants.

    3. Frilly Keane

      Ah give over would ya

      D’Examiner does sport better than any paper

      Agreed the site is backdurt
      But it is probably the oldest
      Since they were on a the first to publish an’ting on line

  3. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

    Excuse my bad language, but damn…
    It’s night-time, isn’t it?

    I don’t know whether I’m a day ahead of you guys or a day behind.
    I don’t know what to say now.

    It’s okay..

    1. Chris

      Try to keep up. As a successful go getter this is when I rise. I went to bed at 8pm after a hard day of working out and working big as CEO of everything. I caught a solid 5, woke, licked a salty grapefruit, immersed myself in vat of ice and water, now it’s off to face the day. It’s all in my new book ‘Take Your Cake And Stuff It Hard! The 7 Easy Steps To The Successful Secrets Of Success And Wealth’

      1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

        Get a grip Chris…
        …It doesn’t work.

        I’m going to be Vegan for a day, most of which I’ll spend asleep.
        I’ll report back later.

  4. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

    Is it the morning?
    It IS the morning, isn’t it?

    Twelve extra hours sleep. Who-hooo…

    You can’t say fairer than that.
    -What day is it?
    That’s what most of us want to know..

    What day is it?

    1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

      Don’t hold back.
      Nobody else ever heard of you, and they couldn’t give two *ucks about you, but it’s ALL good.

      Keep struggling.
      Look at you, you’re brilliant.
      Nah, seriously, look at you…You’re brilliant….

      Seriously.
      Look at you…

      1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

        The emancipation afforded by the internet will make free men of us alll., including the wimmin.

        And then BS will edit my comments, and nothing will change.
        Plus ca change, mais j’ai une autre chose. Une autre bete.
        Boom. boom, boom…

        I’m a dick.

        1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

          Je m’escuse.
          Je ne suis pas trop fort en Francais.
          Je bais les filles, Elles dit :Oui, sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq, je t’aime.

          I never know what the hell is going on.
          How do you say ‘whoosh’ in French?

        2. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

          I actually have two dicks.
          I wasn’t going to mention it.
          This is the only website I know of where that’s a bad thing.

          1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

            If any of you can make me at least half-interested…
            …and you have a frie…

            It doesn’t matter.

  5. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

    Fierce weather, wha?
    I haven’t been out for the last two days, but still…
    I hear it’s terrible out there.

    Have any of you been out in it?

  6. Farty McCarthy

    What was the point putting Wallace and Gromit in the clink for an hour or two? That won’t learn them.

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