Broadsheet Trailer Park: The Magnificent Seven


What you may need to know:

1. Seven outlaws are hired to protect the sleepy town of Rose Creek from greedy industrialist Bartholomew Bogue (Peter Sarsgaard).

2. Director Antoine Fuqua (Training Day, The Equalizer) fixes the unbroken. With the help of Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt and Ethan Hawke..

3. Of course, John Sturges’ The Magnificent Seven (1960) was a remake of Akira Kurasawa’s Seven Samurai (1954).

4. Which makes this a remake of a remake, or a matryoshka doll of mundanity.

5. Would these endless remakes be more acceptable if they changed the titles? The Heroic Heptad, perhaps? Or The Spectacular Septuplicate?

6. Robert Vaughn is the last of the magnificent OGs still standing.

7. Broadsheet prognosis: The man don’t give a Fuqua.

Release Date:
September 13.

15 thoughts on “Broadsheet Trailer Park: The Magnificent Seven

  1. meh.

    When I was a kid and way before I ever saw or heard of Seven Samurai and The Magnificent Seven, I used to love Battle beyond the Stars.
    That had Robert Vaughn in practically the same role as his Magnificent Seven role but was set in space.
    I love that movie enough to never watch it again and spoil the nostalgia.

    Do 3 Amigos, Galaxy Quest and Bug’s Life also count as remakes? Apart from the numerical deviation, they are the same story.

  2. rotide

    Look Mark, I like the format of this feature but if you’re going to review week old trailers that we saw on monday then give us some information that we actually might need to know rather than the increasingly common snide elitism.

    Looking forward to the the bourne trailer next week featuring ‘3. Matt Damon was in the Departed, he’s no DiCaprio’

  3. Spaghetti Hoop


    The 1960 Mag. Seven is one of the finest Westerns ever made and with a cast of the best swash-buckling actors of the time who are regarded as legends still today.

    The Seven Samurai may not be everyone’s cup of sake but it blew me away when I first saw it as a teenager – one of those films they’d show at 1am on a Friday night, after the pub.

    Seriously – neither could be described as mundane.

    1. meh.

      Yeah – that description gnawed at me a bit too but my only posts on this site seem to be in reaction to something that this person-who-watches-trailers writes, so I didn’t want to rant about it.
      But you are absolutely right Besgetti. Not enjoying Seven Samurai or Magnificent 7 is fine – obviously they cannot be everyone’s cup of tea.
      But to imply they are mundane… well, that shows a staggering disregard and ignorance of cinema.
      Really, there are a 1000 movie bloggers out there, many of whom absolutely love movie and any of them could dissect and comment on a trailer with much more aplomb than this guy.

      Also – for pure snark value – This guy’s more Mark Commode than Mark Kermode!

    2. Del McG

      Yeah, a touch of Kermode-esque snobbery creeping into these reviews. It’s a (post) summer blockbuster with an ensemble cast, some big action set pieces and no doubt a script that really doesn’t take itself all that seriously. A bit of craic, in other words. I’m looking forward to it

  4. TheDude

    Gosh, we got Ben Hur remake this year and now this. Cant be long before they destroy Lawrence and other such masterpieces. Just stop it, make new art!

  5. Kieran NYC

    I don’t really have a problem with a good story being retold well, but I don’t know about the hard rock soundtrack though. Makes it seem like just another modern generic actioner, but with more dust.

    Still it has good pedigree in front of and behind the camera.

  6. Harry Molloy

    Ethan Hawke seems like a really cool guy (Before Sunset being maybe the greatest movie trilogy there is) but he’s in a lot of pooey movies. I suppose you have to earn and this can fund him to do more artsy stuff so I won’t judge him. Just an observation though, he’s in great deep thinky movies and some dumb (although entertaining) movies

  7. Mulder

    Another remake, retake in a long line of not soo illustrious remakes and rehashes.
    For the great masses to look and stare and go see, again.

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