Ask A Broadsheet Reader


Heat expands girth.

Can you confirm?

Katie writes:

As your website attracts some of the biggest male members around, could they confirm or deny if the phenomenon known as the ‘Summer penis‘. is a real thing or just another flaccid male lie. Asking for a friend.


Pic: Shutterstock

41 thoughts on “Ask A Broadsheet Reader

    1. Janet, I ate my avatar

      Don’t I know that that is infinite space, and not a rounded vault? But, however I may screw my eyes and strain my sight, I cannot help seeing it round and limited, and despite my knowledge of it as a limitless space I am indubitably right when I see a firm blue vault, and more right than when I strain to see beyond it.

    1. Brother Barnabas

      there’s no story, frillz. just the summertime horniness has us all walking around with a semi. same as it’s always been.

    2. Boj

      mine is definitely more ‘full’ alright. grand if in shorts but jeans/trousers all day can take its toll..and I ain’t no porn star. I’d nearly pity any bigger ‘lads’ out there…nearly…

  1. :-Joe

    “Asking for a friend.”… also inconsequently named Katie who may or may not require substantial evidence to corroborate any claims…

    Yep, due to the increase in heat(not great for the sperm count) and the stress and swelling on the body’s cardiovascular system labouring more but more specifically to do with blood supply, circulation, health and fitness and then the usual obvious factor of physical and mental stimulation( only one brain operates the gears btw).

    The shift into summer weather also makes people more optimistic and positive which eventually leads many, that way inclined, into feeling and acting more amourous. Make hay as the sun shines in the silly season etc.

    Hope that helps but I’m not 100% sure about the science though, I got my medical QEd from drumpf university for a 100$ off a special one-time only discount offer with a box of steaks a few years back…


    1. :-Joe

      d’s penis was scuplted as small for aesthetic reasons as larger penises were considered too vulgar for viewing at the time..

      I like to imagine he orignally had a massive tool with a bend in it, like a hook pointing back up to his face…..ahh..but that’s just my sense of humour though.


  2. Bertie Blenkinsop

    Just when you thought the pissy shorts were the new low for Broadsheet….

    ( yes, I have a small mickey )

        1. mildred st meadowlark

          It’s not about size, you know, but more about how much of the kama sutra you can perform.

          1. Bertie Blenkinsop

            You’re definitely sitting at the “forced to invite” table at our wedding.

          2. SOQ

            I am seeing a thick 9″ security guard from Drogheda so I disagree, intelligence is very over rated.

            He can make breakfast while still contributing towards our deep meaningless relationship.

  3. italia'90

    Me and my better half are on Fabswingers if you’d like to check out the theory haha
    Annnnd if anyone finds a HTC phone etc etc ;)

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