The Pitter Patter Of Little Clamps

at | 50 Replies

This afternoon.

Long-standing Broadsheet contributor and commenter ‘Clampers Outside’ is proud to announce the birth of a healthy, as yet unnamed baby son at 1pm at an undisclosed hospital.

Mrs Clampers and junior are “doing well’ while dad is “over the moon”.

Congratulations to all.

50 thoughts on “The Pitter Patter Of Little Clamps

  1. Mickey Twopints

    Congratulations Lad!!!
    Wish your missus and the small fella all the best from the reprobates at BS.

  2. Gary Flood

    (With apologies to Mr. Moynes)

    Congrats, cheers and hip hip hooray!
    For this is a marvelous day.
    Crack open the champers
    And pass it to clampers,
    Who’s passed on his own DNA!

  3. newsjustin

    Congratulations to Clampers and Mrs Clampers. It’s a rollercoaster from here on out. But life is a rollercoaster, as a wise man once said, you just gotta ride it.

  4. Liam Deliverance

    Congrats Clampers and Mrs Clampers and Baby Clampers and all the other Clampers, but not actual clampers, they have nothing to do with this and can eff right off.

  5. Slightly Bemused

    Congratulations, Clampers! I hope that your little boy brings you as much joy as my little one brought me :)

    I hope both Mr & Mrs Clampers are also doing well :)

  6. SOQ

    Congratulations on your contribution to the demise of planet Earth Clampers- joking.

    A friend’s girlfriend was pregnant in London. She wanted a local School because of the convenience in Camden but she ran into a 1950’s priest in the parish.

    She would have had to have had a map drawn as to ‘the parish’ but, it was the nearest church.

    Said priest was not too pleased to be presented with a fallen woman with 3 camp gay men as spiritual guardians.

    He objected to no Catholic name being baptised- so herself being from Derry- announced that the middle name of this boy would be Mary- John Wayne etc.

    The God Queens were perfectly fine with this as they figured that which ever way he swung, he or she would be covered.

    1. Spud

      Congrats to all and hope baba and mama doing great.
      Be kind to yourselves.

      Clamps may need an ‘after dark’ version of BS to keep him occupied during the late night feeds!

  7. scottser

    now clamps there is something you will encounter that they don’t tell you about. It’s the poonami. When the childer is a few weeks old he’ll do a poo as normal and you’ll think you’re done. But it keeps coming and coming and coming until the whole pack of wipes is gone. Fear not, just remember to let the nappy do the work.


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