“Let Us Scrap Physics”


Bishop of Waterford and Lismore Alphonsus Cullinan has said yoga is not suitable for parish schools

Bishop Cullinan’s crusade against mindfulness and yoga in schools is to be applauded – let the streets of Waterford and Lismore be spared the scourge we in Dublin endure of calm, mindful youngsters terrorising us with their placidity.

Yet this should merely be the first step in ridding schools of subjects that, as his grace notes, are “not of Christian origin.”

We inculcate our children with algebra and arithmetic, as though we are ignorant of these dark arts’ Sumerian and Babylonian roots.

Considering too geometry’s origins in classical Greece (you say pre-Christian? I say un-Christian!), one must conclude that all maths should be banned from primary and secondary education.

The heathen Greeks were also responsible for the pestilence that was natural philosophy, which – in its elaboration by the heretic, occultist and alchemist Isaac Newton – gave us classical mechanics. Thus, let us scrap physics.

Biology too must go, given its origins in a Humboldtian conception of science as separate from religion, while our Creationist brethren in the US and elsewhere have shown the fallacy of many so-called sciences from geology to archaeology.

I know from Bishop Cullinan’s valiant efforts in 2017 to discourage the administering of the Gardasil HPV vaccine to schoolgirls that he is with me in this crusade against science.

Were Herodotus and Thucydides Christian? Of course not – no more than Anaximander or the Imago Mundi. Thus we must ban history and geography.

We teach innocent children English literature, yet examining its development from the bawdiness of Chaucer, to the violence and licentiousness of Shakespeare, it seems clear that English too should be jettisoned from the curriculum.

What of our own native tongue? Tracing the origins of the Irish language back through Old and Primitive Irish, we arrive at ogham, inscriptions in which were (largely) non-Christian.

Ban Irish from our schools!

“So teach them practical stuff,” you say – “boiling eggs and darning socks.”

Phylogenetic analysis demonstrates that the origins of cookery go back two million years, far pre-dating Christianity. Sewing too is palaeolithic, while weaving is neolithic.

Free our schools of the un-Christian tyranny of home economics!

The only subject worthy of being taught is religion, though when the reforms I propose above are implemented, its teaching will be impossible owing to the lack of literacy skills.

As such, we may sack all teachers and sell school land for residential development, resulting in savings of billions to the national exchequer.

Dr John Kearns,
Dublin 6W.

Bishop Cullinan, yoga and Zen (Irish Times letters page)

Catholic bishop warns against yoga and mindfulness in schools (Darren Skelton, The Irish Times)

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28 thoughts on ““Let Us Scrap Physics”

  1. Janet, I ate my Avatar

    the lack of self awareness and the public image of his disgraceful institution is strong in this Bishop

  2. Friscondo

    Cullinane is right, but for the wrong reasons. The mindfulness industry, and it is an industry like any other, is just snake oil for the soul. You can sell idiots anything.

    1. Janet, I ate my Avatar

      meditation and yoga are proven to have physical and mental health benefits,
      neither work for me but they do for the majority and I’d rather see a half hour of this a day for kids than 5minutes of fairy destructive woman hating dogma

    2. Joe

      some folk can keep their mental well being in check by themselves, tough day at work and a relaxing walk with the dog in the outdoors will sort them out. however other folk need guidance on what to do and they pay for that service it’s their own choice. if kids learn what works for them at an early age they won’t need to pay as adults, effectively killing the future of the mindfulness profit industry.

  3. dav

    I hope nobody reads that letter to posh-boy murphy, he’ll be on to his vulture fund mates post-haste

    1. curmudgeon

      Exactly why do you refer to him as posh boy Murphy? Do you think the rest of the govt. came from council estates or something? The Taioseach went to Kings Hospital – do refer to him as posh also? What about Ruairí Quinn or Eamon DeVAlera – surely they are equally as posh coming from the ‘rock no?

      No. You’re just another idiot parroting what you hear everyone else calling him.

      1. Janet, I ate my avatar

        maybe if they did the country wouldn’t be ran by people so out of touch with reality

  4. Paulus

    A bishop decked out in his toga
    Must have been at the whiskey and soda
    Now he’s causing some ructions
    By giving instructions
    not to give any credence to Yoga.

  5. Dr.Fart

    makes sense for a catholic to carry on like that. very intrusive, controlling bunch. they’re gettin panicy now that their grip on the population has softened considerably.

    1. V

      Be better for pelvic floor exercises too

      Actually Phonsie has the look of someone there doing exactly that

  6. Paul

    So glad its not up to this small minded and insignificant man. That is how the fall of civilisations start and how terrorist organisations start.

  7. bigx

    A Catholic bishop is supposed to wear a pectoral cross i.e. on the breast ,not at his belly button or even further south. The great swinging ****.

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