Galway City Council has deferred a decision on whether to allocate an additional €2.5 million to the European Capital of Culture project.

City of Kultur, 2020

Welcomes you!
On our brochure’s colour cover,
a sheep with horns on it
stood in the middle of a small road
through the sort of no place –
all rushes and miserable little mountains –
people used to leap
on coffin ships to escape.

And for those with no interest in
locally sourced mutton,
the private sector will provide
ladies from Czech Republic
and sometimes Dubrovnik
who guarantee
happy conclusion
and for a little extra
will visit your vastly
priced Airbnb walk-in closet.

Our programme is loaded
with renowned sculptors,
parade makers, former lead-singers,
and tellers of old jokes
currently going
through their Feargal Sharkey
‘A Good Heart’ phase.

We signal our commitment
to emerging artists.
Our line-up features several
who are Bono in his
embarrassing English accent phase
and grateful to be anywhere
we care to put them.

Among our major sponsors:
no one we know of who made
their early millions from slavery
of the old fashioned sort;
though a few whose ancestors
made their seed capital loading
chattering skeletons aboard
the aforementioned coffin ships.

To those visiting our city
to partake in the coming jamboree
we say: enjoy!
Take up space. And have
what these days pass for
orgasms. Take care
when stepping over
that cardboard box
as there’s probably
someone living in it.

And if you think
you’ve been overcharged
for your cocaine, remember,
you, the consumer, have rights,
if no longer much in the way of
a nose, and can take a case
against your dealer
in the small claims court,
citing European law.

Kevin Higgins

 

Top pic: Galway.ie

Monday: City Council defers decision on €2.5m proposal for Galway 2020

6 thoughts on “Culture Shocks

  1. broadbag

    He’s a parody poet right, the joke is on us, not him? He can’t really be THIS bad, all the time and keep doing it, in public, where people can actually read it.

Comments are closed.