Kerbs And Your Enthusiasm


Definitive rules, anyone?

Pic: Getty

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31 thoughts on “Kerbs And Your Enthusiasm

  1. Bertie Theodore Alphege Blenkinsop

    It was “paths” where I grew up, the H being optional obviously

    1. Paulus

      You’re right of course; fowl can be used as a verb, where it can mean to apply or introduce a chicken to a situation.

    2. :-Joe

      lol… Paulus on comedy word patrol..

      It’s been waxed and used for grinding / lip sliding by skateboarders probably….
      The brown-ish red-ish stain is rust from the metal on the skateboard trucks/axels or other stains from the scraping of the board on the edge…


        1. :-Joe

          Maybe back in the good auld days of fearless youthful exuberance and broken limbs..

          Nowadays, only after a few pints… Usually with hilariously painfull results.

          – Might take it up again tho, good fun / excercise..


  2. Cú Chulainn

    It’s better with a sharp edge.. simple rules.. play with younger siblings and their friends.. make up the rules as you go along.. win..!!!!

  3. Slightly Bemused

    I have not seen kids playing kerbs in a long time!

    When I was a kid we had one point for a rebound off the join of the kerb and the road, 2 points for a rebound off the point of the kerb and in the unusual circumstance that the ball rebounded back and hit the kerb of the thrower, 5 points. I never achieved the last one, but I have seen it done.
    Another rule was if the ball rebounded and the opponent caught it (such as a a rebound that goes straight up) they got the point.
    The spins and twists on the ball when thrown could be fun.

  4. Kim The Cardassian

    Yes there are strict rules

    Players take turns throwing ball from their kerb to the kerb on opposite side. Ball must hit kerb on opposite side and come back in direction of thrower

    Player receives 10 points for hitting the kerb from her/his kerb
    I’m doing so player moves to centre of the road to take closer shots, each worth 5 points

    Every successful hit gains another shot

    Bonus 100 points if the ball accidentally smashes the window of the grump bastard who lives in number 29 who never gives the call back

      1. Cú Chulainn

        Stylish move sir.. not as hard as some might think.. but always done over the age of 12, to impress a girl and usually signalled the end of the game for the thrower (tosser..?) who moved on to other pursuits..

    1. Slightly Bemused

      Jaysus you gave high points in your area! And we had our own grump b@stard too, so I feel your pain :-)

      But fair point – I forgot about the move to centre of the road. Now that I am reminded, where I grew up that was only where the rebound crossed the centre of the road in the clear.

      We also played doubles. 4 kids. The trick to pass was to put spin on the ball so a rebound would head in the direction of your partner. I rarely played that, and while I know there were special rules, I do not recall them.

    2. :-Joe

      You can be extra technical / scientific if you add a sudden death or flip a coin for who gets to start…
      – Useful if your playing till you fail and both players can score big and win to nil from a single go…

      Bonus 10 if you catch it on the rebound on or from behind your kerb and 5 from anywhere else..

      Bonus 20 if you head the ball on the rebound back for another score and then catch it…
      – Add +20 for every header.. until ball is catched. Must be caught or no super jumbo mega bonus can be applied.

      +10/ +20 If you throw it over a moving car van bicycle pedestrian and score / and then catch it.

      +50 / +100 If you bounce it off a moving car van bicycle pedestrian and score / and then catch it.

      I’ve no idea what the game or set score or final winning score should be… can’t remember exactly.

      The winner is allowed to slap the loser with a wet fish…. usually a large salmon or pike…


      1. Cú Chulainn

        Joe, I can see you’re not taking this seriously.. there’s always one, messing about and ruining it for everyone else..!!!

        1. :-Joe

          What?.. I’m deadly serious.. including the bit about the seafood ending that monty python took for granted.


          1. Cú Chulainn

            You can play one more time but any of that wet fish or bizarre rules and you’re out and I’ll tell yer ma..

    3. James T Russell

      great idea to have young people congregate in groups out on streets again I mean it’s been nearly a week it’s stupid to expect people to stay in this long, and tooty-pootkins to the old people who can’t take a joke like a ball going through their window, they’ll all be dead soon anyway.

  5. f_lawless

    Every player brings their own ball
    You alone must always fetch your own ball
    Strictly no touching other players balls

  6. yupyup

    Us culchies never partook in this mythical game. In fact, it was explained to me, in my early twenties, by a townie college friend who was amazed that I had never even heard of it.

    1. Slightly Bemused

      This I understand. When I moved as a youngun to outside the Pale I realised there were no kerbs to play.

      A few years later they built an estate in my town, and kerbs appeared. I tried to teach my friend the game, but the town being a staunch GAA bastion the only balls were from that game, and the rebound dynamics of a liathróid peile were totally different to those of the balls I used as a youngun.

      Which reminds me of a later story, after I learned to drive. A friend who had never driven outside of Dublin came down to where I live in Kildare. She was terrified as there was only a centre line on the road, and the sides were straight into the ditch. She could not understand how we knew where on the road we were with relation to the left side. I had to explain that when the car tipped down, we were too far over. She did not get it.

      1. V

        Hand ball against the wall
        7 * straight catch
        6* single bounce then catch
        5* double bounce
        4* Under the leg
        3* on one leg
        2* throw pirouette catch
        1* blindfolded

        If you caught all them when ‘on’
        You went to one handed
        Miss and you start over again when it’s you turn

        When it got down to using the small bouncy balls you were in the premiere league

        1. Slightly Bemused

          That sounds a lot more challenging, and a lot faster! Thanks for the explanation.

          I was never good at handball games, so even if this was about I would not have played.

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