How To Dismantle A Love Bomb


This morning.

In the latest dispatch from his often calamitous journey to find meaningful love in lockdown, hopeless romantic FluffyBiscuits writes:

The undertaker was a handsome devil, charming and flattering. After two cancellations and with me having a three strike rule he sauntered up for a coffee Sunday two weeks ago.

Nothing out of the ordinary except after four hours he is full on charm offensive. He bleats at me, “Im falling for you, I could fall for you,” interspersed with other random musings. At this point I picked a point on the wall and stared, a tactic I picked up from The General after reading his biography. Stare at one spot and say nothing.

The light faded and Mr Undertaker made his way home. That week he appeared to have gone to ground (see what I did there!) ,but he continued with the flattery, cancelling again on the Saturday following so I told him to take a hike. The next day he rings, apologises profusely and tries to flatter again. His job is all last minute. Anyways he ends it by saying: ‘Text you and we can chat about meeting up’.

Already being on edge with lockdown and not letting my guard down, I mentioned the situation to friends and this is where I learned about love bombing. A term that a person floods you with so much affection and then tries to withdraw it so you crave more. A form of control.

Little things this fella had mentioned clicked into place “I don’t like your beard”..” those clothes don’t suit you”…I had told him to sod off on those occasions but what if I had not been independent minded? My mental health had already taken a battering with lockdown pushing me to seek out a counselorand think my judgement had been impaired. Friends though through conversation spotted what I had mentioned,the chap was a control freak.

Last night I was chatting to a pal when my phone buzzed. This gobsh*te didn’t like my new profile photo and then an hour later when I didn’t respond tells me “Will take that’s it . No problem happy to do so . Enjoy life”…I just wrote “good luck”. Guys like this want you to fawn over them. Love Bomb, defused and sent packing!

Previously: ‘I’m Calling About The Car’

20 thoughts on “How To Dismantle A Love Bomb

  1. Janet, I ate my avatar

    well spotted,
    no one should ever try tell you they don’t like your clothes etc, if they don’t like you how you are fupp them,
    I had an exe who’d get upset I was dressed too sexy for work, that led to even in skirts when he wasn’t around…bye bye

          1. Johnny

            dust off the old tapes pops,the circle j*rk sorry oul lads bad taste in music competition is on today, best day ever wha…enter 50 times today gwan ye mad ba…

            ps-sniper move:)

  2. Enn

    Love bombers are toxic. If you’re vulnerable, suggestible, or just inexperienced, they can really derail your life: I have a hair-raising tale of one who alternated between serenading me and getting in sly digs with such escalating intensity I lost my sense of what was going on completely and, looking back, this bizarre campaign of mind games started from the first date. There are people who hate themselves so much they develop an inverted sense of vicious grievance against the whole world and advance at every possible kind of relationship as a war game they need to ‘win’. Intimacy is never really there for these people. Mind yourself, folks.

    1. Clampers Outside

      +1 Enn
      Been there too… Read that like you were describing my own experience. Very well put.

  3. Janet, dreams of warm feet

    itsssssss happy Johnny !
    our very own ray of sunshine,
    don’t knock circle jerks, it beats frustratedly fiddling with yourself in the cold

  4. Charger Salmons

    I don’t know who this fellow is but I do like the cut of Fluffybiscuits jib.
    Good luck with the love life old sport and don’t let the lockdown get you down.
    Everyone deserves some good loving at times like this.
    Never heard of this love bombing malarkey – in my day you either got the bum’s rush or you hit a home run on the first strike.Seems a lot of unnecessary faffing about just to get your end away.

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