Woof, There It Is [Extended]


The Dogs of Dublin by John Rooney


Like dogs?

Mark at Jam Art Prints writes:

Artist and designer John Rooney drew up a commission piece for all the dogs in Dublin sent into us over social media recently. We’ve one signed A3 print to giveaway to the lucky winner who can tell us their funniest/most memorable dog story.

Lines MUST close at 9am.


Jam Art Prints

The Jam Art Prints competition runs here every second Thursday. Latest winner here.

41 thoughts on “Woof, There It Is [Extended]

  1. Andy Pipkin

    I think Carlosfandango and Lette deserve it for some of the brilliant photos over the last few weeks!

    1. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

      as do I , but then again I really want it ! so fight,
      when the babies down I’m gonna bombard you with my French doggy messing

  2. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

    ok let’s go with the star of the 11 arrondissement, a little Jackie named Kitcha, when she wasn’t working the decks she was quality testing the Guinness ( she knows to let it settle) and working the door as the best bouncer in Paris. People new to Paris I warmed to and liked who’d stray into my bar I liked to take out to get janeted, one young pup from Liverpool who is now a fast friend I invited out to go clubbing after work, he says what about the dog ? Ok this is your bar but we are never going clubbing with the dog…haha ! Kitcha led the way sans lead as usual always stopping before crossing the road for an ” ok go” skips the line at the club, all you can here are two huge bald bouncers screaming ” Kitcha !!!” as she legs it in ahead of us to join the madness on the dance floor, she showed that Liverpool lad how it was done and he never looked back.

  3. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

    A dog is a good litmus test of any man or potential partner,
    herself snuck in when I was test driving a new lover and licked the poor sod on his arse mid coitus, the screams ! She was right he had to go.

  4. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

    closing up shop I’d often have trouble getting a taxi that would accept a dog at 3am so I used to stick her in an over sized handbag until.we were safely in the back seat , well some little egit thought he’d grab my bag one night, he didn’t expect the bag to have teeth …hahahahah

  5. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

    I used to live on the fifth floor with my mutts,
    I was cooking a stuffed bird, basting every twenty and starters and cheese and pudding all set when I thought I really do need another red, so I skipped downstairs to the caviste, the length of time it took, the Jackie had the oven door open and the whole bird was gone, grease all over fur and the floor, full bellies hanging down, burnt tounges, a night on the balcony, a ruined dinner party and yet I heard in doggy whispers, it was worth it.

  6. K. Cavan

    I’d take The Husky down to the park after closing time. There, I’d meet the the owners of the St Bernard, the American Pitbulls & the Dogue de Bordeaux, the outsider dogs, the night-shift. The park’s only other occupants would be gangs of youngfellas, drinking & smoking weed.
    It was October, so the lads were gathered in a circle around a blazing wheelie-bin, a seasonal pastime of theirs. This fascinated The Husky & he ran ahead & began to circle excitedly, looking quite intimidating in the light from the flickering flames.
    They began looking nervously over their shoulders as The Husky continued to circle behind them & as I approached, one piped up, “yer dog, he’s ok, yeah?”. “Ah yeah” I joked “he’s just trying to suss out which one of you is the weakest”.
    Quick as a flash, one lad was shoved out of the circle by another, “it’s Joey” a voice said “he’s the weakest”.

    1. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

      I used to always have to run late night with the dogs to avoid panic on small footpaths and to be honest I love the dark and quiet, German shepherd, English pointer and the Jackie ( the boss ), what little human traffic would clear as they floated along at my side, like the red sea parting.

  7. scottser

    The grandad had a mutt called spot. The most cantankerous feck of a hound you’d ever see but fiercely protective of us and our neighbours. Everyone who lived down our lane had to collect our mail from the post office cos the postman was petrified of him though.
    So we got a new neighbour who made the mistake of trying to shoo him away one day as he went down the lane to the shops. Spot walks back to yer mans front door and pees all over it and sits out front of his house licking his balls till yer man comes home. As soon as spot sees him he takes a dump at his gate. I swear he winked at me as he went back home. He continued this gate ritual daily until he died.

  8. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

    and to save the best till last, in her aging arthritic years she lies down beside new baby for a pat on the head while she licks the little ones toes as if to say you missed a bit, don’t worry I’m here.

    1. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

      I love the Shepard and Pointer too they just aren’t as full of the divilment and were happy to be left at home sometimes while Jackie was having none of it, maybe because they were rescues and she was spoilt from day three when I chose her, all the other puppies jumped about she just looked me in the eye and went ” yeah … it’s me ” …maybe just the breed.

  9. carlosfandango

    I was in school with a lad that had a lovely golden lab. During his erm.. ‘experimental’ years he managed to find a use with the hoover and the hound other than vacuuming the stairs as was his instruction from the Ma while she was workin’.
    The Ma couldn’t understand that everything she got the hoover out to do a bit of housework the bloody dog would follow her around the house constantly rolling over onto his back.. Hope you are well Mark Dillane, it’s been a while since I remembered that one. :-)

  10. SOQ

    My mother’s dog patch was a half collie half corgi which sounds like an odd mix but it worked really well. He had the intelligence of the collie and the ‘full on’ attitude of the corgi- think a sawn off collie in appearance, and completely fearless.

    My mother passed when he was around 16 and he went to live with my cousin, in a country village. His personality seemed to change and instead of being the guard dog of old he became very outgoing and popped out to meet all the other dogs in the village every morning. He died at the grand old age of 18.

    But somewhat strange was that about six months after, while visiting my cousin I spotted patch- except it obviously wasn’t him, it was a doppelganger, the complete spit of him. And, while driving outside the village, I spotted another one. Turned out there was actually four- with as close to identical markings as I have ever seen.

    So it appears there was life in the old dog as they say- I knew he had become sociable but never imagined he would have still been up for that. On the 7:1 ratio of human to dog, he would have been around 110 when he started his shenanigans- so there’s hope for us all yet.

  11. Birdie

    Not funny but perhaps it looked funny to onlookers.

    A dog started barking and growing at me as I was stretching in a park this morning.

    Owner: Stop moving and he’ll stop going for you!
    Me: Put your dog on a lease.

    Ta feck I’m not going to move if a dog is acting hostile to me, I guess that’s kinda funny that an owner would immediately come to that statement instead of whoopsie I’m supposed to keep my dog on a lead!

    Seriously folks lease your dogs up, it’s bloody scary when they go for you or chase you when you’re running. I’ve no idea if your doggy will bite or lick.

      1. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

        that’s desperate, if your dog doesn’t have recall he shouldn’t be off the lead

  12. Cú Chulainn

    I could tell you the story of how my dog Rover, a dog of the ages, who did sound like he was from Cork in all fairness to all concerned, managed to follow me into the city centre by way of the 51 bus ( the driver had no choice but to let him on unattended) and win the Miss Cork competition in the Gresham Hotel back in mid 1970’s, charming the admittedly fairly drunk judge, in the process. But I won’t, ‘cos no matter how brilliant my stories are, you’re going to give it to someone else. A pigeon who went coo coo and a thingy ? Seriously… anyway, the continuing adventures of Rover are lost to you.. Cú

  13. Verbatim

    I’ve never had a dog share in my life and these stories are a fascinating glimpse into another world.
    I abhor seeing dog poo on the pavements, it’s one of my pet peeves!
    A friend was in hospital and I said that I would take a turn in walking her dog. So, dog on the lead, I made a big deal about having waste bags, off we went for walkies. The little fellow “went” , I looked away careful not to cause it any embarrassment. Prepared my little baggie ready to do my civic duty, kind of hoping all about me could see what a diligent ‘dog owner’ I was and to show them ‘this is how it was done!’ But, horrors of horrors, when I looked down, let’s say, it was not matter, more an upset tummy. There was no way I could scoop that up, felt so let down and scrambled out of there with my tail between my legs.
    Note: anybody I’ve every told this story to finds it remotely funny or interesting, but it’s had a lasting impact on my life. The dog’s name was Trigger…

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