Eamon Dunphy (right) was left mid-interview by pro-life advocate John Waters

It’s clear that we’re having a week
Where people have strong words to speak
But what else can one do
Except turn the air blue
When the whole country’s lost up shit creek?

John Moynes

Pics: RTE/Rollingnews

This morning’s Irish Times/Ipsos MRBI opinion poll on May 25 voting intentions

Next Friday the time comes when we’ll
At last get a chance to repeal
If someone can be swayed
Stand up and persuade
Them to vote Yes and make freedom real

John Moynes

Pie chart: Irish Times

Democratic People’s Republic of Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un (left) and US President Donald Trump planned to meet in June

Trump thought that he’d guaranteed Kim
Was ready to sit down with him
And make a great deal
But now one must feel
His chances are growing more slim

John Moynes

Pics: Getty

Hugh Grant and Renée Zellweger in Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2014)

I know this is sad, but it’s true
That a popular actor named Hugh
Has now reached the stage
Where his advancing age
Means starring in rom coms won’t do.

John Moynes

Pic: Universal

The value of assets owned by male TDs is almost double that of Female TDs

I’m glad our political class
Have all found the time to amass
The fortunes they’re due
For the hard work they do
Raise a toast! Some champagne in cut glass.

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Brian O’Driscoll has said rugby should not be viewed as ireland’s national sport

BOD spoke to the papers to say
He will not get carried away
Later on in the year
All the culchies will cheer
As bogball once more has its day

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Spanish national David Navaro and his Brazil-born wife Celia Galan charged clients €200 an hour for sex with them at their Ennis home

A couple who settled in Clare
Thought their sex life was something they’d share
But their lucrative trysts
Led to slaps on the wrists
When their plans took the shape of a pear

John Moynes

Pic via Irish Mirror

North Korea’s Kim Jong Un and Chinese President Xi Jinping in Dalian, China, during their second summit yesterday.

A charming dictator called Xi
Once called up his neighbour and he
Said “We need to talk
So let’s take a walk
On a beach by my north eastern sea.”

John Moynes

Pic: Reuters

A rural parish is continuing to hold Mass at a church where an alleged sex act was caught on camera

If you try making a pass
At somebody dressed to say mass
Be sure not to falter
When up on the altar
And fooling around with their ass.

John Moynes

The Swedish meatball recipe, a favourite in IKEA’s canteens, actually originated in Turkey

Köttbullar it seems is the work
Of some talented culinary Turk
But a young Swedish king
Made a claim to the thing
And drove its creators berserk

John Moynes

Pic: IKEA