Big Pesto is clearly at fault
For pumping its products with salt
The green stomach filler
Is becoming a killer
Will somebody please call a halt?
John Moynes
Pic: Scala
Author Archives: John Moynes
Passengers leave a train bound for London this morning
In Britain a chap on a train
Stood up and began to explain
That sodomite ways
Can cause transport delays
And give travelers no end of pain.
John Moynes
Pic: Get Surrey
In politics life can be rough
And making ends meet can be tough
So let everyone say
Our betters need pay
And yet more pay, they don’t get enough.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
An outdoors Australian loo
Has won an award for its view
It seems a nice sight
Makes having a shite
Much nicer, and I’m sure that’s true.
John Moynes
This is a small change, but a big move for us. 140 was an arbitrary choice based on the 160 character SMS limit. Proud of how thoughtful the team has been in solving a real problem people have when trying to tweet. And at the same time maintaining our brevity, speed, and essence! https://t.co/TuHj51MsTu
— jack (@jack) September 26, 2017
The vast class of people who tweet
Are in for an unwanted treat
Though Jack thinks it’s better
To double your letter
Count, users are rather downbeat.
John Moynes
North Korea’s Foreign Minister Ri Yong Ho
First Washington’s orange skinned bore
Took to twitter to cause an uproar
But then Ri Yong Ho
Threatened violence and so
The White House backed down from a war.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Following his defeat to Floyd Mayweather, Conor McGregor brought a bottle of ‘Notorious’ to the post fight press conference
If you’re fond of violence and booze
You mightn’t like this morning’s news
McGregor’s new drink
Looks like to sink
In a trademark fight he’s bound to lose.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
North Korea leader Kim Jong Un denouncing US President Donald Trump in a television address yesterday
As tensions continue to soar
Our hero has let out a roar
His great words inspire,
He’ll tame Donald with fire
And the West doesn’t know what’s in store.
John Moynes
Pic: Korean Central News Agency
Arlene Foster, leader of the Democratic Unionist Party
The DUP leader Arlene
Is a caring and sharing cailín
But that Irish word
By her can’t be heard
Or she’ll have to kick up a scene
John Moynes
Rollingnews