US President -Elect Donald Trump and ‘likely defence secretary’ retired Marine Corps Gen. James Mattis
When Trump met a soldier named Jim
He ended up appointing him
To create peace on earth
But for what it’s worth
I reckon his chances are slim.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
The site where a replica of the Titanic will be built in Suining, Sichuan province, China.
The Chinese decided to float
The idea of rebuilding a boat
But this time they think
The Titanic won’t sink
As they’re keeping all oceans remote.
John Moynes
Pic via Getty
US President Obama honours Ellen DeGeneres With the Presidential Medal Of Freedom last week.
You know Ellen, who works on TV?
She got a day out in DC
But was left outside
As the staff denied
Her entry without some ID.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Elderly Japanese can swap their driving licences for a ramen set meal for 500 yen at the Sugakiya chain
When Japanese people retire
And let their driving license expire
A big tasty tub
Of discount price grub
Is just the thing that they require.
John Moynes
Pic: The Japan Times
Let’s all take a moment to think
Of our favourite celebrity, Twink
Work’s not going well
For poor old Adele
And her overdraft’s stretched to the brink.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Philip Lane, the Governor of the Central Bank, yesterday
The Central Bank say they deplore
The chance that house prices might soar
They already are
So they’re raising the bar
And waiting until they rise more.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
A farmer decided he’d hide
Four kilograms of cyanide
To murder a bunny
Would it have been funny
If all of Roscommon had died?
John Moynes
Garda Commissioner Noirin O’Sullivan.
A Garda who uses gmail
Does not sound like much of a tale
But after this year
I’m gripped with the fear
That someone will want her in jail.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
British Prime Minister Theresa May, who may cut the UK’s corporation tax rate to below 15 per cent, and Taoiseach Enda Kenny at 10 Downing Street last July
Some business types gather today
To hear the Prime Minister say
She’ll cut tax to the floor
Then cut it some more
Corporations should not have to pay.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
