Rat Pant, among the strangest scientific research of the year
If you’ve ever figured out that
Polyester looks good on a rat
Or made yourself wise
By studying lies
Then you’re an Ig Nobel copycat.
John Moynes
Pic: the Annals of Improbable Research
Taoiseach Enda Kenny with farmer Gerard King at the National Ploughing Championship on Tuesday
The festival we all adore
Is happening near Tullamore
And anytime now
The King of the Plough
Will be crowned and his subjects will roar.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
One thing that brings everyone down
Is the wide vacant grin of a clown
A word to the wise:
This trend’s on the rise
And soon it will come to your town.
John Moynes
Pic: Pixabay/MGN
Donald Trump Jnr
At first you might find it quite sweet
When Donald’s son offers a treat
But the taste of the pill
Will make you quite ill
As he’s laced it with racist deceit.
John Moynes
Pic: Associated press
This news won’t shock anyone here:
There’s a side effect to drinking beer
It makes you less shy
And that may be why
It gets your groin into top gear.
John Moynes
Senator Catherine Noone arriving at the Keadeen Hotel in Newbridge, Co Kildare, for the annual Fine Gael Think-In on Monday
At first just Michelle, but then soon
She was echoed by Senator Noone
Each would make her mark
In the stands at Croke Park
While humming an entitled tune.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Devon grandmother Rozamund Perrin and underwear posted to her with an angry note.
If you buy a cottage in Devon
don’t hang on your washing line seven
Pairs of frilly pants
Or you’ll receive rants
Of the kind that you won’t hear in Heaven.
John Moynes
Pics: Kent Express & Echo
Norwegian black metaller and town councillor Fenriz
Most metal stars who seek a thrill
Turn to bottle or powder or pill
But I’m shocked to say
That up in Norway
They’re councillors, against their own will.
John Moynes
Pic: Pitchfork
An entry in the Belfast High School yearbook
If you decide to take a look
At a Belfast High School yearbook
Be careful, the sight
Of some very far right
Opinions may leave you quite shook.
John Moynes
Pic: Belfast Telegraph
There’s a lot to be said for cheap meat
If you’re looking for a nice treat
But try to avoid
Any cops you’ve annoyed
And shop somewhere far from their beat.
John Moynes
Pic: Press Association
