Author Archives: John Moynes

The Syria-bound Irish Army 58th Infantry Group at Cathal Brugha Barracks, Rathmines, Dublin 6 last month. Some members of the Defence Forces are being paid less than the minimum wage.

We all know that soldiers are tough
And the life that they lead can be rough
But one look at their wage
Is sure to enrage
It’s high time we paid them enough

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Plans to open a robot brothel in Houston, Texas have been shelved

Some fellows consider it hot
To lie in a bed with a bot
But if they want to rent
They’ll have cause to lament
In Houston, where it seems they cannot

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Former UK Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has described Theresa May’s ‘Irish backstop’ agreement with the EU as a “moral and intellectual humiliation”.

You know that it’s conference time when
Johnson tries thinking again
Here’s what must be done:
Go back to square one
And everything’s bound to work then

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Gemma O’Doherty failed to secure a nomination to contest the Presidency of Ireland

If you ask for votes some people choose
To consider it and then refuse
So it’s best to keep calm
Don’t throw toys from the pram
It’s not fascism just ’cause you lose

John Moynes

Rollingnews

US president Donald Trump drew laughter during an address to the United Nations assembly in New York yesterday

The world’s biggest bullshit emitter
Is more than a little bit bitter
He decided to reach
Out with a big speech
And all he got back was a titter.

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

 ‘Weetabix’ labels In a New Zealand shop must be covered up to protect local cereal brand ‘Weet-Bix’

A breakfast of dry compressed wheat
Doesn’t strike me as much of a treat
But in one hemisphere
The courts interfere
To let big corporations compete

John Moynes

A plan to build 3,500 social homes has delivered fifteen. From left: Minister for Housing Eoghan Murphy, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar and Minister for Finance Paschal Donohoe

The best of the Fine Gael team
Came up with a new housing scheme
I’m sure that they mean
To build more than fifteen
But for now it’s still just a pipe dream

John Moynes

Rollingnews


Minister for Transport Shane Ross reportedly said he has nothing to do with the Bus Connects plan and no responsibility for the National Transport Authority

Dublin’s new bus transport plan
Isn’t something the minister can
Bring himself to endorse
Did he read it? Of course
Not. He gave it a cursory scan

John Moynes

Rolliingnews

EU leaders dine last night ahead of a Brexit summit in Salzburg, Austria this morning

Cutting a country in two
Is never a nice thing to do
But I must admit it’s
Quite a stretch for the Brits
To claim they also think this is true

John Moynes

Pic: SkyNews

Actress Stormy Daniels has written a tell-all book about her alleged affair with US President Donald Trump

Some things are repulsive, and so
If you’re telling a story then know
If the shape of his part
Is Toad from Mario Kart
Then that’s a place you shouldn’t go

John Moynes