Author Archives: John Moynes

Fast track apartments announced by Minister for Housing Eoghan Murphy (above) may not be built until 2020

This morning the newspapers say
There’s going to be a delay
Before we build flats
Though I’m certain that’s
Something we’ll get round to, someday

John Moynes

Rollingnews


A study will look at how blue whale faeces contributes to nutrition levels in Antarctic waters

A stout-hearted maritime crew
Have rather an odd job to do
For week after week
They’re planning to seek
Some lumps of the world’s biggest poo

John Moynes

Pic: Wired

Former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has called for a curb on immigration in Europe to ‘stop the rise’ of the far right

You won’t see a sorrier sight
Than a loser who jumps to the right
And tries to outflank
The orange skinned crank
By spouting the same racist shite

John Moynes

Pic: Associated Press

New research suggests a third of eight-year-old boys are playing over-18s computer games

It would be a terrible shame
If a child gets a fright from a game
But if your little tot
Sees something they should not
You only have yourself to blame

John Moynes

Pic: DigitalTrends


Secret systems have been developed to ensure pilots who hate each other are never working on the same flight.

When thousands of feet in the air
One hopes the pilots all share
An outlook on life
That won’t lead to strife
And that neither have clicked “Do Not Pair

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

University College Dublin (UCD) exam hall at the RDS, May 2017

If you’d like to get a degree
Or perhaps even a PhD
It may seem like a feat
But it’s easy, just cheat
And hope that your tutors don’t see

John Moynes

Pic: Shnobs

We finally have a day when
The attention’s directed at men
But what I now fear
Is surviving a year
Until it all happens again

John  Moynes

UK Prime Minister Theresa May is facing calls to stand aside

Some Tories decided to lie
To make their great Brexit pig fly
But the best of their schemes
Were only pipe dreams
So they’re hanging Theresa to dry

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Vegan steak is now available at Tesco Ireland stores

In Holland they’ve started to make
A cunning and audacious fake
This slimy Dutch treat
Contains bugger all meat
So it certainly isn’t a steak

John Moynes

Pic: Reddit

Meanwhile…

Ah here.

Britain’s Prime Minister Theresa May

It’s going to be a tough day
For embattled Prime Minister May
But if it goes well
She’ll just have to sell
Her deal to all of the UK

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Last night: Breakthrough