Edwin Poots has resigned as DUP leader after an internal revolt over the restoration of the Stormont Assembly
The new DUP leader Ed
Has after just three short weeks said
That the party says No
To his schemes and so
Some other must lead them instead
PA
Chinese astronauts Nie Haisheng, Liu Boming, and Tang Hongbo at the Jiuquan launch center in northwestern China
China’s once more in the race
To put more people up in space
So let’s hope the crew
Called Nie, Tang and Liu
Have fun in their orbital base
AP
A University College Cork rendition of how ancestors of the woodlice were crawling around on Irish land as long as 360 million years ago
Some boffins who work by the Lee
Have a picture they’d like you to see
Of ancient woodlice
And does that sound nice
To you? As it doesn’t to me
Illustration: Diane Dabir Moghaddam
UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson (right) with Australian prime minister Scott Morrison in Downing Street, London
Those plucky chaps in the UK
Are announcing a trade deal today
Which is good news because
Some cheap meat from Oz
Will make all their woes go away
Getty
Britain’s Queen Elizabeth and US president Joe Biden discussed China and Russia during their 45-minute talk over tea at Windsor Castle yesterday
A president went for a tea
With a queen yesterday and said she
Was quite full of chat
And asked questions that
Touched upon Putin and Xi
Getty
Echidnas have a four-headed penis, though only two heads are put to use at a time
The echidna has quite a neat trick
To manage its four-headed prick
There’s a septum inside
Which can be applied
To pump up two ends, take your pick
istock
A retired nun has admitted to embezzling $835,000 from a Catholic school in California to fund her gambling habit
In Torrance an elderly nun
Thought gambling looked like good fun
So she built up a stash
Of ill-gotten cash
Which isn’t how things should be done
Shuttterstock
North Korean leader Kim Jong-un appears to have lost weight after years of substantial gain
In Pyongyang the great leader Kim
Has recently started to slim
So now some debate
If this loss of weight
Means something has gone wrong with him
Getty
People whose sleep pattern goes against their natural body clock are more likely to have depression and lower levels of wellbeing, experts say
Boffins say people who keep
A habit of regular sleep
And leave the bed early
Don’t tend to be surly
And are far less likely to weep
Alamy
SpaceX has launched a supply mission bound for the International Space Station which includes carrying 20,000 tardigrades, better known as water bears
There’s a rocket in orbit and it
Contains several samples of spit
And also onboard
Is a tardigrade horde
I don’t know how they made it all fit
Getty
