US President Donald Trump has denied he paid just $750 in federal income taxes in 2016 and 2017, and said he would only share his tax returns after an audit is finished.
In the papers this morning we learn
What goes into Trump’s tax return
And of course Donald’s take:
The news is all fake
And his debts are no cause for concern
John Moynes
Pic: Bloomberg
Used prophylactics found in a warehouse in Vietnam were boiled, dried and resold
Ecologists urge us to choose
To reduce, recycle, re-use
But I think it’s icky
To re-use a micky
Sheath. Honestly, I would refuse.
John Moynes
Pic: CNN
The Pacific Island of Niue is considering coming forward in time, almost a full day
The folk on the island of Niue
Have found that their time is askew
So the plan is, they say
To skip a whole day
Which seems an extreme thing to do
John Moynes
Pic: Brook Sabin
A robot in Yokohama, Japan stands at just over 18 metres tall and weighs 25 tonnes
In Japan some lads dreamt up a plot
That seems to be somewhat crackpot
Now they’ve shown to us all
An incredibly tall
And perfectly working robot
Getty
Anthony Staines, professor of public health systems at Dublin City University, says it is “much safer to have 200 of your friends in a field than 20 of your friends back in your house”
The lockdown is causing frustration
And many are feeling temptation
So if you may yield
Remain in a field
And that way cause less consternation
John Moynes
Kane Tanaka, 117, already in the Guinness World Records as the world’s oldest living person is now certified as being Japan’s oldest ever person on record.
From Fukuoka this morning we hear
Of a wonderfully charming old dear
Who has been going strong
For one hell of a long
Time so let’s give her a cheer
John Moynes
Today, the cabinet will decide if Dublin moves from Level 2 to Level 3 on the Government’s five-level structure for managing the pandemic
No Dubliner will want to see
The city moved to level three
As it won’t be much fun
If it has to be done
The whole thing’s a pain in the gee
John Moynes
US Attorney General William Barr told federal prosecutors to consider charging violent protesters with plotting to overthrow the government
American protestors are
Seditious, says AG Bill Barr
It can no longer be
The land of the free
If the government’s going this far
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
From left Taoiseach Micheál Martin, Tánaiste Leo Varadkar and Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly arrive at Dublin Castle yesterday to announce the ‘Plan for Covid Resilience and National Recovery’
I don’t think that many would say
That the government had a good day
Their new five phase plan
Was as confused as can
Be, and nothing went their way
John Moynes
Traces of a rare molecule known as phosphine have been found in the atmosphere of Venus, providing a clue about the possibility of life
It seems that our neighbour in space
May have some form of life on its face
Even though Venus
Has mainly been seen as
A harsh inhospitable place
John Moynes
Pic: NASA
