Dr. Anthony Fauci (right), the director of the US National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, said the Trump campaign is running an ad featuring him without his permission
Anthony Fauci is sad
That Trump used his voice in an ad
As the doctor refuses
To say how he chooses
To vote, and he feels he’s been had
Getty
A treaty signed by England’s King Charles II granted 50 Flemish fishermen from Bruges “eternal rights” to English fishing waters.
It seems that an old English king
Passed a curious law allowing
The Flemish to fish
Off his coast as they wish
And some say that this right’s still a thing
John Moynes
Portrait: John Michael Wright
Men with deep voices are sexy, but unreliable, experts warn
Some boffins claim ladies should keep
Far from fellows whose voices are deep
For the scientists say
That they’re certain to stray
And you won’t know with whom they will sleep
Pic: Art Of Manliness
Eddie Van Halen, the guitar virtuoso, has died of cancer at 65
There was a young fellow called Ed
Who strummed till his finger tips bled
And who was, by far
The best at guitar
As those in the know have all said
Orbis
Taoiseach Micheál Martin is to move the entire country to level three restrictions for the next three weeks, rather than the Level 5 requested by chief medical officer Dr Tony Holohan
So Martin has gone on TV
To move us all to level three
But there is no way
He’ll do what the docs say
As five’s not where he wants to be
John Moynes
US President Donald Trump was criticised by medical experts after leaving hospital to drive by supporters
To let people know you’re alive
And also continuing to thrive
Just slip on a mask
And simply ask
Your staff to take you for a drive
Getty
US President Donald Trump said this morning that he and first lady Melania Trump have tested positive for the coronavirus
Here’s news that will cheer you up quick:
It turns out that Trump is now sick
So let’s hope he’ll reach
For a bottle of bleach
As he’s claimed that that will do the trick
Getty
The Supreme Court has ruled that Subway sandwiches contain too much sugar to be legally considered bread
So Ireland’s top judges have said
That Subway are not selling bread
If you’re going to bake
That much sugar it’s cake
Or something less wholesome instead
Five parrots, including one called Tyson (above) at an English wildlife park have been removed from public display after they started swearing at visitors.
If you don’t like your dialogue blue
Then stay clear of Lincolnshire Zoo
Where five talking birds
Just love dirty words
And they’ll happily shout them at you
Pic: Lincolnshire Wildlife Park
A group of scientists in Italy have reportedly found a system of liquid ponds under the south pole of Mars
Italian boffins have found
A lake below the Martian ground
So future probes ought to
Examine this water
In case anything’s swimming around
John Moynes
NASA
