Author Archives: John Moynes

4G, 5G and data radio relay antennas on a Vodafone mast in Berlin, Germany

We all know how tough life can be
When you’re facing a threat you can’t see
But it also makes sense
That you’d have to be dense
To blame all of this on 5G

John Moynes

Reuters

Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II during her televised address in relation to the coronavirus epidemic last night

Every Brit stared at their TV screen
To watch as an elderly queen
Instructed the masses
To sit on their asses
And remember to keep their hands clean

John Moynes

PA

Meanwhile…

Ah here.

Boffins identified subtle changes in the face of a mouse when it shows various emotions 

Some scientists think that it’s nice
To do painful testing on mice
To see how they react
And here’s an odd fact:
It’s not science till they do it twice.

John Moynes

Pic: Journal of Science

Long-term Isolation may lead to excessive boozing. boffins have warned

Some medical experts now think
That we’re all having too much to drink
Well it’s certainly true
There’s not much else to do
I wonder could there be a link

John Moynes

Pic; Alamy

Goats roam the Welsh town of Llandudno yesterday during the coronavirus lockdown

For weeks we’ve been locked up all day
With nothing to do or to say
Now we’ve got anecdotes
Of a town full of goats
And right now that’s cause to shout “Hooray”

John Moynes

PA

On this date in eighteen ninety nine
It was France’s big moment to shine
So they showed of their power
By opening a tower
With a curious metal design

John Moynes

Pixabay

The Impossible Burger was one of the first plant based meat alternatives

It’s really an impressive feat
To make vegetables look like meat
So boffins now make
A mushroomy steak
Is that something that you’d want to eat?

John Moynes

Getty

Tim Martin, Chairman of Weatherspoons pub chain, came under fire as he said the company would not cover staff wages from the coronavirus

A gammon-faced arsehole called Tim
(Who’s unpleasant and seriously dim)
Thinks it’s a good laugh
To shit on his staff
His soul, like his pubs, is just grim.

John Moynes

Pic: Catering Today

O’Connell Street, Dublin 1 yesterday

Though there’s plenty of bad news around
This country won’t crash to the ground
You’ll soon go back to work
For a capitalist jerk
As our fundaments are all still sound

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Northern Ireland First mInister Arlene Foster (left) and Deputy First Minister  Michelle O’ Neill yesterday

The Stormont executive choose
The shops that the public can use
But can people go on
With off licenses gone?
It’s a diktat that doesn’t amuse.

John Moynes

Press Eye