Elon Musk, Tesla’s chief executive, called one of the rescuers of the boys soccer team trapped in a Thai cave “pedo guy” on Twitter
Now Elon insists that it’s fine
To call someone a pedo online
“No one thought it was true
So please do not sue”
Is not a defence, it’s a whine
John Moynes
Getty
Writers shortlisted for the Bad Sex Award 2019
It’s that time when some judges decide
Which authors can’t write up a ride
Though some folk grow bored
Of the Bad Sex Award
Which seems prurient and prudish and snide
John Moynes
Is a real Christmas tree (right) better than a fake one (left) for the environment?
One thing each child wants to see
In their home is a real Christmas tree
But should parents take
Home a synthetic fake?
The experts, it seems, can’t agree
John Moynes
Pic: BBC
Show composer Danny Elfman has claimed that The Simpsons is coming to an end after 30 years.
Are we saying goodbye to a friend
Who has recently started to tend
To lose track of the plot
And show signs of rot?
Because maybe The Simpsons will end
John Moynes
Pic: Fox
Neanderthals may have gone extinct through bad luck rather than being outsmarted by Homo sapiens, reserachers claim
On some vanished, long distant date
The Neanderthals met a sad fate
Not by some violent deed
It seems they didn’t breed
Enough kids at a fast enough rate
John Moynes
Pic: Alamy
Chef Marc Veyrat will try to force Michelin inspectors to hand over their confidential judging notes to explain why his restaurant was stripped of its coveted third star
A chef asks if Michelin are
Allowed to remove his third star
I think that’s it’s fair
To say I don’t care
The whole thing is sad and bizarre.
John Moynes
Getty
‘Baby Yoda’ debuted on the new Disney Plus Star Wars series ‘The Mandalorian’
Disney’s new Yoda-based fad
Is driving its fanbase quite mad
And even the GIF
Kicked off a big tiff,
Which is over, but made many sad
John Moynes
Yesterday saw pro-democracy candidates win 90 per cent of seats in city elections, piling more pressure on Hong Kong leader Carrie Lam (above)
It’s all going dreadfully wrong
For the ruling class down in Hong Kong
The town made a choice
To speak with one voice
And Carrie Lam’s not looking strong
Johnn Moynes
Getty
British soldiers at the junction of Moore Street and Parnell Street, Dublin 1 during the 1916 Rising. Cannabis plants worth an estimated €12,000 were found last week during searches in Moore Street buildings once occupied by the rebels
The heroes of Ireland agreed
A rising is just what we need
And the place where they planned
To make their last stand
Is currently used to grow weed
John Moynes
Getty
Britain’s Prince Andrew, above with BBC journalist Emily Maitlis, will step down from Royal duties
Now Andrew’s decided to take
A long term professional break
Because being seen
With Jeffrey Epstein
Caused problems the prince cannot shake
John Moynes
Pic: PA
