Beavers are to be introduced on land managed by the English National Trust as part of plans to ease flooding
Well nobody thinks that it’s good
When their house is subsumed by a flood
But it seems that the beaver
Could be the reliever
Of water in your neighbourhood
John Moynes
Pic: Wikimedia
The Japanese know what to do
To make their skin shiny and new
They go out and ask
For a Uguisu mask
Which covers their faces in poo
John Moynes
Alamy
From top: North Korea leader Kim Jong-un and US President Donald Trump: Trump’s tweet ‘defending’ Joe Biden
So Trump would like people to know
He doesn’t think Democrat Joe
Is a rabid cur
As it seems that Kim’s slur
Is further than Donald would go
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Researchers have found that some people have more reason to doubt their fathers than others,
It’s enough to make someone quite mad
To find you have a secret dad
But in urban life
It seems many a wife
Is tempted to do something bad
John Moynes
Pic: Alamy
If you’ve ever wanted to know
Why a pigeon is short of a toe
Perhaps it lives where
People cut hair
Which can cause their digits to go
John Moynes
Berlin’s politicians are fine-tuning a redevelopment plan for a 3.2-acre site around Checkpoint Charlie (above) that includes a cold war museum and apartments
It’s been thirty years since the fall
Of Berlin’s great dividing wall
But its once mighty gate
Is in a sorry state
If you go there it’s bound to appal.
John Moynes
Getty
A court has heard a taxi driver ripped off passengers by secretly using a remote control to add €9 to fares
Taxi passengers may get a scare
As the newspapers make them aware
There’s a chance that their lift
Was part of a grift
Which strikes me as rather unfair
John Moynes
Don junior has written a book
So on Sunday he quite bravely took
To a varsity stage
And was met with such rage
That he fled and was left feeling shook
John Moynes
Getty
A US fighter jet pilot reads a book in a selfie taken during a flight
It takes concentration to fly
A jet fighter high in the sky
And studies have shown
Not to mess with your phone
It seems all these pilots are high
John Moynes
Pic: US Military
US President Donald Trump put the Ukraine crisis on ice to work out how to buy Greenland, it is claimed
It took effort to try to restrain
Trump from betraying Ukraine
The sad reason why:
Hy was trying to buy
Greenland. He’s smart and he’s sane.
John Moynes
Getty
