U2, from left: Edge, Bono, Adam and Larry

Each ambassador at the UN
Deserves a night out now and then
So we’ll take them to U2
And they’ll know what to do
Vote for us, or it happens again

John Moynes

Pic: Twitter

Insurance costs has meant some Ireland schools have banned running in the schoolyard

Kids should go out in the sun
And blow off some steam and have fun
But though it’s not nice
Because of the price
Of insurance they’d better not run

John Moynes

Pic: Ronan McCrea

Russian women should abstain from sex with foreigners visiting the country for the World Cup, advises Moscow politician Tamara Pletnyova (above)

Much to Pletnyova’s chagrin
Some pure blooded women may sin
If they choose to lie down
While the World Cup’s in town
With men with the wrong colour skin

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Minister for Justice Charlie Flanagan has said Ireland will hold a referendum in October to remove the offence of blasphemy from the constitution

It must take a rather rum sod
To want to make fun of a god
But our rulers deem
It okay to blaspheme
Which strikes me as just a bit odd

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Colombia’s right wing presidential candidate Iván Duque

The campaigners were hoping to sing
Some praise for Colombia’s right wing
And whip up a storm,
But they summoned a swarm
Of bees that were eager to sting

John Moynes

Pic: AP

US President Donald Trump  (left) and Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in a bilateral meeting at the G7 Summit in in Charlevoix, Quebec, Canada

So how can we simple folk tell
If the G7 meeting went well?
I think you’ll agree
It’s not good to see
Them speak about places in hell

John Moynes

Pic: Reuters

From top: British royals Meghan and Harry; Sinn Féin TD John Brady

A Shinner went online to say
There is absolutely no way
That he’d want see
Royals wed on TV
But they’re still more than welcome to Bray

John Moynes

Pics: Getty/RTE

Pending a vote in the senate, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will tomorrow make Canada the first G20 nation to legalise recreational marijuana.

Young Trudeau’s a smart lad indeed
Who gives his folk just what they need
By the end of the week
Each Canuck will freak
Out on their stash of legalised weed

John Moynes

Pics: Getty

An engineer holds a silicon face against the head of a robot at Chinese doll factory

If the chance of a ride on a bot
Is something that makes you feel hot
Then go hump away
But don’t try to say
That it’s healthy. They’ve proven it’s not.

John Moynes

Pic Getty