I really should count up the ways,
I’m disgusted with Minister Hayes,
As he sits giving out,
With his arrogant pout-
Forget it, I’d be here for days.

John Moynes

(Oireachtas.ie)

Despite Primetime’s hidden-cam tape,
Our creches are still in poor shape,
And the staff at Giraffe,
Must be having a laugh,
If they’re letting two toddlers escape.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)

If I don’t get medicinal booze,
Before long I will blow a fuse,
Why am I so uptight?
I just don’t think it’s right,
That “COUPLE HAVE BABY” is news.

John Moynes

Pics: Herald Sun

It’s rather unfair to Chris Froome,
For everybody to assume,
His cycling skill,
Came from a pill,
Or a potion that helps him to zoom.

John Moynes

(AFP)

This summer has been a good one,
We all frolicked and baked in the sun,
Now we’re facing a drought,
As the water runs out,
Which doesn’t sound like too much fun.

John Moynes

(Sam Boal/Photocall Ireland)

No matter how this one is spun,
The fact is the bad guys have won,
They worked many a slave,
To a cold lonely grave,
And the penalty they’ll pay is nun.

John Moynes

Nuns say they will not pay Magdalene compensation (Irish Times)

Tom Barry thought it would be gas,
To slap a TD on the ass,
At twenty to three,
While live on TV,
Would he do such a thing while at mass?

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)

In the midst of this hellish heat-spurt,
Some overpaid Met Eireann squirt,
Has chosen this time,
To use words that don’t rhyme,
And issued an “orange” alert.

John Moynes

(Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)

I’ve no proof but I’m certain that this,
Unnamed writer was out on the piss,
When they got very sad,
And said it was bad,
When two chaps decided to kiss.

John Moynes

When bromances go bad (Irish Independent)

Load up on Pimms and on brandy,
For Wimbledon ended so dandy,
Now everyone knows,
Of that fine English rose,
That blooms in the home counties, Andy.

John Moynes

(Reuters)