I had a dark nightmare concerning,
That bouffant haired vampire returning,
This one thing I crave,
May they dig a deep grave,
At long last the lady’s for burning.
John Moynes

Unless you think you can do better?

Oh yes, it’s Tuesday Maggie RIP ‘Rick Off.

All Limericks by 1pm.

Standard ‘Rick off rules apply.

(Terence Donovan/Getty)

UPDATE:

First place:

The Devil was wearing a frown
He said, ‘Somebody, catch me this clown
We can’t let her stay
She’s been here for a day
And closed three of me furnaces down.’

 

Jim Computer

 

Runner up

 

Forever remember the date
When the workers rejoiced in their hate
She was not for turning
She is not returning
It’s only three decades too late.

Downtown_Train

I somehow don’t think I believe,
This rumoured water tax reprieve.
In fact I will say,
That a twelve month delay,
Is really the best they’ll achieve

John Moynes

(Sam Boal/Photocall Ireland)

Further to our Twink ‘Rick off from earlier.

The runners-up:

And the winner…

Disqualified:

Thanks all.

Though we wish Happy Birthday to Twink,
Before pouring a nice party drink,
Of sparkling wine,
She should pay off her fine,
To keep herself out of the clink

John Moynes

Unless you twink YOU can do better?

Oh yes, it’s a Friday, car-less, zip-unfriendly, ‘it doesn’t need to rhyme with mickey/’ ‘rick off.

All Limericks by 1pm.

Judging by 2pm.

Standard ‘rick off rules apply.

(Sam Boal/Photocall Ireland)

I really don’t like this idea,
Of bullying poor North Korea,
Just let Kim Jong-un,
Play with tanks and have fun,
There’s no need to take the urea.

John Moynes

(NYT)

Bigger boned flyers will hate,
An airline that charges by weight,
It seems quite unfair,
That up in the air,
One can treat jolly people like freight

John Moynes

(Pic: Cracked.com)

Now Sunderland’s under attack,
As Di Canio draws down some flack,
But he’s dodging the blame,
By trying to claim,
That some of his best friends are black.

John Moynes

(RAI)

The bishops have come out in force,
Against what? Marriage rights. Why, of course,
They cannot conceive,
Of Adam and Steve,
So it seems Church and State must divorce.

John Moynes

(Sasko Lazarov/Photocall Ireland)

It really can be quite complex,
To teach modern kids about sex,
Thank God one TD,
Knows it’s two and not three,
That should fiddle in each other’s kecks.

John Moynes

(RTE)

Instead of a bout of blue flu,
Some guards are trying something new,
They taken some cash,
From the evidence stash,
Which would be quite a coup, if it’s true.

John Moynes

(RTE)