Panic and terror and dread,
Have filled every Dublin 4 head,
Oh Jesus! Oh God!
They’ve demoted our BOD,
And left us with Heaslip instead.

John Moynes

(IRFU)

Tesco decided to force,
The Irish to chow down on horse,
Instead of cheap beef,
Much to my relief,
As the horse tastes much better of course.

John Moynes

(Channel 4)

It turns out that cyclist Lance,
Took copious drugs to enhance,
His pedalling skills,
He popped so many pills,
That he ruined the whole Tour de France.

John Moynes

Always think twice when you tweet,
Something funny if it’s indiscreet,
Because if you enrage,
An old right wing sage,
He’ll make you buy the Sisters a treat.

John Moynes

Earlier: Declan’s Victory

Poor Aengus’s troubles began,
When he stopped to top up on his tan,
In a break in the news,
But he missed all his cues,
Such is life for a top anchorman

John Moynes

(RTE)

The busmen are going on strike,
Over paycuts that they all dislike,
The comrades insist
That their fight will persist,
And Varadkar can go take a hike.

John Moynes

(Sam Boal/Photocall Ireland)

The smile upon James Reilly’s face,
Can really light up the whole place,
The reason, you see,
For his outburst of glee?
A long debate on the X Case.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)

It’s given John Waters a fright,
To discover the plebians can write,
Whatever they please,
It’s disgusting that these,
Little people exist in his sight.

John Moynes

I think I’ll go out on a limb,
And declare my great love for dear Kim,
He’s a panacea,
For good old Korea,
And he makes other leaders look dim.

John Moynes

(KCNA)