Beyonce has caused quite a stink,
By confessing that she did lip-synch,
The national song,
Some folk say that’s wrong,
That she’s brought the U.S. to the brink.

John Moynes

(Kevin Mazur)

Some boffins have spotted a trend,
They know that you fancy your friend,
Now instead of a “poke”,
You can download their yoke,
And attend to your friend in the end.

John Moynes

(Cnet)

Bad news for socialist Clare,
Coming home from a family affair,
Now she’s in hot water,
With whiskey. They caught her,
Out driving while the worse for wear.

John Moynes

Earlier: The Daly What

(Sasko Lazarov/Photocall Ireland)

I’ll admit that I shouted “Oh Damn,
This Slovenian mobile phone scam!”
And what really galls,
Is I missed the sex calls,
WIth a hot European madame.

John Moynes

(Getty)

DIstrict Court Judge Geoffery Browne,
Is becoming the talk of the town,
For praising attackers,
Of those he calls “knackers”,
Whilst wearing his wig and his gown.

John Moynes

Pic via Connacht Tribune

That blue-shirted minister Shatter,
Thinks Danny’s as mad as a hatter,
For trying to connive,
To let Kerrymen drive,
At the end of a night on the batter.

John Moynes

Shatter Rejects Drink Driving Proposal (Irish Times)

(Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)

It’s really beyond comprehension,
That Bertie holds on to his pension,
While carers face cuts,
But the state lacks the guts,
To introduce pension retention.

John Moynes

(Greenfusephotogrpahy)

It seems that old Dan Healy Rae,
Needs media attention each day,
He thinks that the hicks,
Should drink drive in the shticks,
While the Gardaí look the other way.

John Moynes

I’m glad to see Barack affirm,
That he’s serving a new four year term,
We almost had Mitt,
Which would have been shit,
For those who are poor and infirm.

John Moynes

(AP)

So farewell to Cardinal Sean,
A man with the brains of a prawn,
Who once tried to silence,
The victims of violence,
It’s over. Let’s wait for the dawn.

John Moynes

Earlier: The Good News

(Graham Hughes/Photocall Ireland)