Our number one man, Michael D,
Popped out for a moment to see,
The people next door,
Who he’s certain to bore,
With a rambling soliloquy.

John Moynes

(Fennells)

They’ll win no awards for the sound,
Because all of the speeches were drowned,
As each z-list star,
Got tanked up at the bar,
And ran the show into the ground.

John Moynes

Previously: What Do You Mean You ‘Weren’t invited’?

(RTE)

[Dail questions, March 25]

Give two cheers to Deputy Ming,
Who had half an idea that took wing,
He decided to float,
A request for a boat,
Now how many votes will this swing?

John Moynes

(Oireacthas.ie)

Estate agents are greeting with cheers,
The biggest price rises in years,
It’s high time the boom,
Decided to resume,
And there’s no way this will end in tears.

John Moynes

(Sam Boal/Photocall Ireland)

[UKIP leader Nigel Farage and Lib Dem’s Nick Clegg last night]

“What happened,” I hear you all beg,
“When Nigel faced up to Nick Clegg?”
Well they say on Sky News,
His “robust” right wing views,
Took the liberal down by a peg.

John Moynes

(Reuters)

[From left: Alan Shatter, Acting Garda Commissioner Noirin O’Sullivan and Martin Callinan in 2011]

At long last the country’s top cop,
Decided it was time to stop,
Because decades of japes,
With illegal tapes,
Meant that off was where he had to hop.

John Moynes

(Leon Farrell/Photocall Ireland)

That tough talking minister Shatter,
Won’t take back a word of his natter,
About blowers of whistle,
And Gilmore know’s this’ll,
Keep on. What he says doesn’t matter.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)

[Patrick Nulty]

Farewell, once again, to old Pat,
Who’s finally discovered that,
Online, without fail,
You will leave a trail,
When you’re sleazing about like a rat.

John Moynes

(Sam Boal/Photocall Ireland)