If you have a troublesome wife
Who causes you heartbreak and strife
You may have to wait
For your big court date
Irish marriage has a long half life.

John Moynes

Graph via Irish Times

Donald Trump closes the republican National Congress in Cleveland, Ohio last night

The candidate said he’d restore
Security, jobs and much more
All good things must end
As we must attend
America, baptised in gore.

John Moynes

Pic: Alex Wong/Getty

Ted Cruz at the Republican National Congress in Cleveland, Ohio last night

A bitter old also-ran, Ted
Let a rush of blood go to this head
He got a loud boo
From more than a few
When he left his endorsement unsaid.

John Moynes

Pic: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Seanad Éireann chamber

The Senate’s important you know
So they talked about Pokémon Go
Which they think is a great
Way for teens to lose weight
They’ve endorsed it with heartfelt gusto.

John Moynes

So that’s pretty blatant, right? pic.twitter.com/EPnHME7afV

— Mike Hearn (@mikehearn) July 19, 2016

When Melania stood up to to tell
Her story, it started off well
But many a word
Had been already heard
In a previous speech by Michelle.

John Moynes

Tom Currie has quit his job to hunt Pokémon

Tim needed a long break and so
He downloaded Pokémon Go
Now he wanders about
With his mobile phone out
Through sunshine, or wind, rain or snow.

John Moynes

Pic via Tom Currie

Democrat US Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton

The opinion polls have agreed
That HiIlary’s holding her lead
As poor Donald Trump
Is stuck in a slump
And fundraising for chicken feed.

John Moynes

Pic: AP

Economist Paul Krugman With his late cat, Doris Lessing

Paul Krugman has stood up to say
That we should put the Champagne away
Can we really construe
Our economy grew
So much and so quickly? No way.

John Moynes

Larry, the Downing Street cat.

An unfortunate foolhardy knave
Who once said we should call him Dave
Has just been told that
He must give his cat
A final and sad goodbye wave.

John Moynes

Pics: Rex/Barcroft Images

Some journalists can cause an affront
Being forthright, plainspoken or blunt
But in this day and age
Must they fill up a page
By constantly typing out “c**t”?

John Moynes