In campaigning there’s one golden rule,
If you try it I’m certain that you’ll,
Find out you cannot,
Win over a Scot,
If they think you think them a fool.

John Moynes

Andy Pandy

Ryanair marketing boss Kenny Jacobs with cabin staff Malwina Reilly (left) and Georgia Hogan

The lovely folk at Ryanair,
Now offer an inflated fare,
So the business elite,
Can get the best seat,
And bring a big bag, and a spare.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)

Commemorating the 200th anniversary of burning the White House. Only sparklers this time! pic.twitter.com/QIDBQTBmmL

— British Embassy (@UKinUSA) August 24, 2014

For parties it’s witty to bake,
An amusing and well designed cake,
But the house of your host,
Getting turned into toast,
Is a faux pas that one should not make.

John Moynes

The poindexters who work in Met,
Eireann have issued a threat,
There’ll be a big flood,
So watch out or you could,
End up angry and freezing and wet.

John Moynes

(Sam Boal/Photocall Ireland)

On this day, long ago, out in Knock,
Some folk got a wonderful shock,
Did they see Heaven’s queen?
Or was the whole scene,
Just a tawdry hysterical crock?

John Moynes

KnockShrine.com

As every reporter will know,
In August the news can be slow,
So they write what they please,
About a disease,
That’s highly unlikely to show.

John Moynes

(HealthSite)

Supermac’s, Essex Street, Temple Bar, Dublin: ‘too traditional’

In Dublin a bright planning Tsar,
Made a ruling that’s rather bizarre,
He says it’s no good,
To make shopfronts from wood,
If you want to work in Temple Bar.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)

Drug enthusiasts are sure to know,
About speed, about hash, about blow,
But it seems that caffeine,
Is the king of the scene,
So brew up and get tanked on Joe.

John Moynes

Pic: CoffeeAddict