The number of young smokers in the UK rose by a quarter in the first lockdown, a study shows
In a lockdown with no end in sight
More people people were tempted to light
Up and smoke a fag
When there’s no one to nag
Them and point out that frankly they’re shite
Adobe
Flood gates on the border wall blown open by monsoon rains in Arizona, USA
So here’s news that will shock us all
It seems that Trump’s great border wall
Could not take the strain
Of some wind and some rain
And large bits are starting to fall
Fernando Sobrazo
Katherine Zappone’s UN free speech envoy post would have required her to work 30 days in the first six months
There’s still not a great deal that’s known
Of the job made for Katherine Zappone
But the opposition
Will maintain their position
To force Fine Gael to atone.
OnlyFans will ban sexually explicit images and videos from October, the online subscription service has announced
If you are a lady or dude
Who poses for pics in the nude
The OnlyFans say
That you won’t get your pay
If they think that your photos are rude
Orbis
Russian spy ship The Yantar is currently off the west coast of Ireland
This morning I’m wondering why
A Russian ship that’s used to spy
Would be sailing almost
Within sight of our coast
We could ask, but I doubt they’d reply
A three-metre python was spotted perusing the spice section of a store in Sydney, Australia
Many pythons consider it nice
To hide in a store behind spice
And so it’s no wonder
That shop staff down under
Can get rid of one in a trice
7News
New York pub Mary O’s has sold more than $1 million in Irish soda bread after owner Mary O’Halloran appeared in an Instagram post on Humans of New York
In lockdown, when all hope seemed gone
One woman thought she’d make a scone
Well that’s what she planned
But it got out of hand
Now the baking just goes on and on
Pic: Eater
Britney Spears’ father has agreed to step down as her conservator ‘when the time is right’
Many people have spilled lots of tears
For the freedom of poor Britney Spears
But don’t be so sad
For at long last her dad
Said he’d go, but maybe not for years
Getty
A 40-year-old slice of Princess Diana’s wedding cake has sold for £1,850 at auction
A royalist wanted to make
A bid for a bit of old cake
As he found the icing
To be so enticing
Let’s hope that it wasn’t a fake
Pic: Sky
