The Supreme Court has ruled that Subway sandwiches contain too much sugar to be legally considered bread
So Ireland’s top judges have said
That Subway are not selling bread
If you’re going to bake
That much sugar it’s cake
Or something less wholesome instead
Five parrots, including one called Tyson (above) at an English wildlife park have been removed from public display after they started swearing at visitors.
If you don’t like your dialogue blue
Then stay clear of Lincolnshire Zoo
Where five talking birds
Just love dirty words
And they’ll happily shout them at you
Pic: Lincolnshire Wildlife Park
A group of scientists in Italy have reportedly found a system of liquid ponds under the south pole of Mars
Italian boffins have found
A lake below the Martian ground
So future probes ought to
Examine this water
In case anything’s swimming around
John Moynes
NASA
US President Donald Trump has denied he paid just $750 in federal income taxes in 2016 and 2017, and said he would only share his tax returns after an audit is finished.
In the papers this morning we learn
What goes into Trump’s tax return
And of course Donald’s take:
The news is all fake
And his debts are no cause for concern
John Moynes
Pic: Bloomberg
Used prophylactics found in a warehouse in Vietnam were boiled, dried and resold
Ecologists urge us to choose
To reduce, recycle, re-use
But I think it’s icky
To re-use a micky
Sheath. Honestly, I would refuse.
John Moynes
Pic: CNN
The Pacific Island of Niue is considering coming forward in time, almost a full day
The folk on the island of Niue
Have found that their time is askew
So the plan is, they say
To skip a whole day
Which seems an extreme thing to do
John Moynes
Pic: Brook Sabin
A robot in Yokohama, Japan stands at just over 18 metres tall and weighs 25 tonnes
In Japan some lads dreamt up a plot
That seems to be somewhat crackpot
Now they’ve shown to us all
An incredibly tall
And perfectly working robot
Getty
Anthony Staines, professor of public health systems at Dublin City University, says it is “much safer to have 200 of your friends in a field than 20 of your friends back in your house”
The lockdown is causing frustration
And many are feeling temptation
So if you may yield
Remain in a field
And that way cause less consternation
John Moynes
Kane Tanaka, 117, already in the Guinness World Records as the world’s oldest living person is now certified as being Japan’s oldest ever person on record.
From Fukuoka this morning we hear
Of a wonderfully charming old dear
Who has been going strong
For one hell of a long
Time so let’s give her a cheer
John Moynes
Today, the cabinet will decide if Dublin moves from Level 2 to Level 3 on the Government’s five-level structure for managing the pandemic
No Dubliner will want to see
The city moved to level three
As it won’t be much fun
If it has to be done
The whole thing’s a pain in the gee
John Moynes
