Tag Archives: A Limerick A Day

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson promised a Brexit deal by October 15

So Johnson decided to set
A deadline that hasn’t been met
But that was just talk
No one thinks he’ll walk
Away from the table just yet

John Moynes

RollingNews

A ‘Covid Shebeen’ raided by Gardaí in the midlands investigating alleged breaches of liquor licencing legislation

If like me you think it obscene
That your regular drinking routine
Has been put on hold
Then it’s time you were told
To visit your local shebeen

John Moynes

Pic: GardInfo

The Confessors on RTÉ One revealed the sacrement would often involve “priests in a very abusive, voyeuristic, not to mention erotic way … drawing people out ”

It’s asserted that more than one priest
Was a dirty voyeuristic beast
Who made each confession
An x-rated session
A practice we’re told has now ceased

John Moynes

Pic: RTÉ


Dr. Anthony Fauci (right), the director of the US National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, said the Trump campaign is running an ad featuring him without his permission

Anthony Fauci is sad
That Trump used his voice in an ad
As the doctor refuses
To say how he chooses
To vote, and he feels he’s been had

John Moynes

Getty

A treaty signed by England’s King Charles II granted 50 Flemish fishermen from Bruges “eternal rights” to English fishing waters.

It seems that an old English king
Passed a curious law allowing
The Flemish to fish
Off his coast as they wish
And some say that this right’s still a thing

John Moynes

Portrait: John Michael Wright

Men with deep voices are sexy, but unreliable, experts warn

Some boffins claim ladies should keep
Far from fellows whose voices are deep
For the scientists say
That they’re certain to stray
And you won’t know with whom they will sleep

John Moynes

Pic: Art Of Manliness

Eddie Van Halen, the guitar virtuoso, has died of cancer at 65

There was a young fellow called Ed
Who strummed till his finger tips bled
And who was, by far
The best at guitar
As those in the know have all said

John Moynes

Orbis

Taoiseach Micheál Martin is to move the entire country to level three restrictions for the next three weeks, rather than the Level 5 requested by chief medical officer Dr Tony Holohan

So Martin has gone on TV
To move us all to level three
But there is no way
He’ll do what the docs say
As five’s not where he wants to be

John Moynes

Julien Behel Photography/RollingNews

US President Donald Trump was criticised by medical experts after leaving hospital to drive by supporters

To let people know you’re alive
And also continuing to thrive
Just slip on a mask
And simply ask
Your staff to take you for a drive

John Moynes

Getty

US President Donald Trump said this morning that he and first lady Melania Trump have tested positive for the coronavirus

Here’s news that will cheer you up quick:
It turns out that Trump is now sick
So let’s hope he’ll reach
For a bottle of bleach
As he’s claimed that that will do the trick

John Moynes

Getty