Social distancing rules have caused people to pay for virtual hugs online
You must be a bit of a mug
To want to pay cash for a hug
And now you can get
Cuddles over the net
Because of this damnable bug
John Moynes
Tag Archives: A Limerick A Day
A report into Russian interference in British politics is due to be published this morning after its release was blocked by Prime Minister Boris Johnson (above) before the last British General Election.
A report will be published today
Which experts all reckon will say
That Russian spies planned
To give Boris a hand
And help him to screw the UK
John Moynes
Reuters
Gardai claim drivers are testing positive for drugs at ‘all hours of the day’
I’ve never quite understood why
Some folk think you can drive when you’re high
That it’s perfectly fine
To snort a thick line
And assume that the rules don’t apply
John Moynes
Priests at Knock shrine will give confessions behind perspex screens and pilgrims are mandated to wear masks
Now we learn that the Catholic flock
Who descend on the vast shrine at Knock
Though drawn by the lure
Of a miracle cure
Require masks, which must come as a shock
John Moynes
Pic: Knockshrine.ie
Taoiseach Micheál Martin announces the delay of Phase 4 during a Post-Cabinet press briefing in Dublin Castle last night
The government’s sorry to say
There’s going to be a delay
Of three more weeks then
Pubs might open again
If it looks like Covid’s gone away
John Moynes
Pic; Julian Behal
The Dublin nightclub where a naked man was tied to a cross and had his bare bottom whipped
A Garda Inspector once found
In a Baggot Street club, underground
A man in the nip
And someone with a whip
And onlookers standing around
John Moynes
Pic: The Baggot Venue
There was an average of 633 drink-driving arrests per month during the lockdown period of up from an average of 550 per month during 2019.
It may seem bizarre but it’s true
Some will knock back a bottle or two
Then go for a drive
And if they survive
Say there wasn’t much else they could do
John Moynes
Creators say robot dolphins provide an alternative to keeping cetaceans in captivity
There are many who say that it’s cruel
To keep a wild beast in a pool
These scruples do not
Apply to a bot
Which is ethically fine, and quite cool
Pic: Maytronics
in one of the first known camera-trap images of the species, a group of Cross River gorillas can be seen in the Mbe mountains of Nigeria
Some zoologists thought for a jape
They’d film a rare type of ape
And they soon got their thrills
On Nigerian hills
When they captured the creatures on tape
John Moynes
PA
A tell-all book about the US President by his niece is set to be released next week
The President’s niece wrote a book
Which may leave the poor fellow shook
She claims that his dad
Was exceedingly bad
And raised his son to be a crook
Pic: The Mega Agency