Marmite is no longer just a toast topping with leading chefs adding it to everything from scallops to pasta
When I’m sitting down for a feast
I want no trace of extract of yeast
So this new Marmite fad
Is making me sad
And I won’t eat out until it’s ceased
John Moynes
Pic: Wikipedia
The Arctic global seed vault has reached 1m varieties stored in its deep freeze.
The boffins are widely agreed
That protecting the Earth’s stock of seed
Would be very nice
So up in the ice
They’ve buried a huge pile indeed
John Moynes
Jim Richardson/NG/Alamy
Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin and Fine Gael leader Leo Varadkar during the final TV leaders’ debate at the RTE studios in Donnybrook, Dublin. 4 on February 4, 2020
The voters returned a dead heat
So Martin and Leo will meet
For a sham of a talk
Before they both walk
Away from a cabinet seat
John Moynes
Niall Carson/RollingNews/Pool
A drug dealer has lost the codes to €53.6 million of the cryptocurrency bitcoin, say the Criminal Assets Bureau
It’s been ruled that the country is owed
A large fortune, but sadly the code
To access the cash
Which was earned growing hash
Disappeared sometime back down the road
John Moynes
Bono attends to Johnny Sexton during a visit to the Ireland rugby team camp
It’s every top sports player’s fate
To have Bono serve you a plate
And then hear him speak
For the guts of a week
About how being Irish is great
John Moynes
Pic: Twitter/U2
The Utah state senate voted unanimously yesterday to effectively decriminalise marrying multiple spouses
In Utah they’re suffering strife
As in that state polygamy’s rife
But now a new rule
Says it’s pretty much cool
For a chap to take more than one wife
John Moynes
Pic: AP
A second nest of snakes has been found dumped in North East England days after 13 royal pythons were found in the same spot.
Most people would think it a sin
To throw your old snake in the bin
But in Sunderland
They will do it and
Then come back with more of its kin
John Moynes
RSPCA/PA
If you’ve got a fair distance to go
There’s something you might want to know
Just one simple rule
To save money on fuel
On highways just drive rather slow
John Moynes
Pic: McQuinnConsulting
United States Attorney General William Barr (left) has sharply criticised President Donald Trump’s prolific Twitter habit
The US AG William Barr
Reckons some of his boss’s tweets are
A constant distraction
From Will’s legal action
As Trump’s rants can go much too far
John Moynes
Getty
