US President Donald Trump put the Ukraine crisis on ice to work out how to buy Greenland, it is claimed
It took effort to try to restrain
Trump from betraying Ukraine
The sad reason why:
Hy was trying to buy
Greenland. He’s smart and he’s sane.
John Moynes
Getty
The government is to introduce a levy of up to 25 cent on a disposable coffee cup
When you’re buying a fresh morning Joe
Do you take your coffee to-go?
Then you’ll soon face a levy
Which won’t be too heavy
But I thought that you might like to know
John Moynes
Pic:Twitter
Facebook’s new logo (above) will begin appearing across its services such as Instagram and Whatsapp
Now Zuckerberg feels a bit shook
By the news so he wants a new look
For his number one line
But the new redesign
Just looks like his Caps Lock is stuck.
John Moynes
The White House has refused to say the US president Donald Trump did not offer the leader of Ukraine a quid pro quo involving military aid and the investigation of his political rivals.
So everyone’s desperate to know
It Trump offered a quid pro quo
The answer is yes
So we’re stuck with this mess
Until it’s time for him to go
John Moynes
Getty
An investigation into a hoax Nobel Prize call earlier this month to writer John Banville (above) has revealed it was not made from the offices of the Swedish Academy
It’s a phone call that’s certain to stun
When an author is told they have won
The great Nobel Prize
But quickly realise
Some prankster was just having fun
John Moynes
A city council has asked the New Zealand Transport Agency to eliminate horn blowing in the Mount Victoria Tunnel
In New Zealand police have to warn
Against drivers who blare on their horn
While they drive underground
As it seems that the sound
Is something that cannot be borne
John Moynes
Pic: Googlemaps
Taoiseach Leo Varadkar (above) is mulling over calling a General Election
As Fine Gael bigwigs take note
That our neighbours are having a vote
Some think it’s a shame
We’re not doing the same
“The stars are aligned” is the quote
John Moynes
US President Donald Trump (centre) at the International Association of Chiefs of Police Convention yesterday in Chicago.
Chicago’s love of immigration
Has caused Donald Trump consternation
The mayor is too bold
To do as she’s told
And has notions far above her station
John Moynes
AP
A press shot from the Vagina Museum, which is due to open at London’s Camden Market in November
In Camden there’s a museum where
They honour the bits found down there
But the fact you can sup
From a non furry cup
Has given the neighbours a scare
John Moynes
Pic: Nicole Rixon
US Republican Senator John Thune (centre)) with Senator. Roy Blunt (left) and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said a top envoy’s testimony about Ukraine ‘is not a good one’
A Republican mutters disdain
About what Trump did with Ukraine
This is no great surprise
Support would be unwise
In fact it would barely be sane
John Moynes
Getty
