Bonkers | Broadsheet.ie

From top: Luke O’Neill in a safety bubble on Claire Byrne Live; A question posed by journalist Ewan McKenna last week

Bonkers?

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‘When Pat Falvey, an antarctic survivalist, came on Claire Byrne to tell people how to eat outdoors which basically consisted of wearing 2 of everything.’

‘All episodes of the Claire Byrne show but particularly how to wear a hat and Fluke O Neill in a bubble. Stephen Donnelly’s trampoline statement. George Lee’s mad eyes. The kid on the Toy Show vaccinating a teddy. Jerusalema at Mayo hospital.’

‘That couple who rescued the dog in the Wicklow mountains being reported to the Gardai for being allegedly outside the 5km limit.’

‘Kids wiping the desks down with loads of hand sanitiser after each class. Homework copies going into quarantine for 4 days. Loudspeaker announcements throughout the school of the Covid rates.’

‘Explaining fibs v lies to the kids. In case Gardaí asked us where we were but they managed to learn off lots of towns and county names.’

‘When out walking by myself, on my own road (quiet, rural area), a car pulled up & an old lady wearing 2 masks, yellow plastic gloves & some sort of skiing glasses roared at me that I didn’t keep 2m distance from her car as she drove by me & I should be wearing a mask.’

‘In the early days, Sam McConkey suggesting on Newstalk that American tourists should be put in Mountjoy for 3 months for coming here on holiday – to ‘get the message across’.’

‘Luke O’Neill saying people shouldn’t pass the gravy boat around the Xmas dinner table. His point was the gravy should be poured on by the cook to reduce contact at the table.’

‘I still think the Superman mural of holohan is up there but O’Neill in the bubble on the Byrne show for me.’

‘People coming back from the UK eating Christmas Dinner in bed was a cracker.’

‘Guy in a car alone, wearing a mask. Taking it down to puff a cigarette and pulling it up again.’

‘If you can smell someone’s perfume outdoors you’re close enough to catch Covid – said – yes – Luke O’Neill.’

‘Sitting in a Cafe with mask-on for a take out. Others at tables with masks off. Someone recognised me and started talking. Glasses fogged so took off mask briefly to talk back to someone not wearing a mask at a table only to be corrected by staff.’

‘The fact that one RTÉ Prime Time report showing students and Holiday makers arriving to Ireland in January effectively made travel to the airport illegal and brought MHQ in.’

‘Some overweight journalist [Stephen Nolan] on BBC’s Northern Ireland service mobbing and attempting to gaslight fit, healthy individuals emerging maskless from a petrol station whilst getting right up in their face whilst not himself wearing a mask.’

‘Claire Byrne asking Johnny Giles what was it in particular that had him so fearful.’

‘Driving secluded back road feeling like a criminal just to get to nearest town over 5k away for big supermarket & avoid Garda check point as local village supermarket is small without as much choice & being turned back by Garda when walking local loop that passed 2km in one spot!’

‘The old guy up the road who was microwaving his newspapers to get rid of the virus – he nearly burnt the house down!’

‘GAA Goalposts getting disinfected.’

‘Chippers being essential. Children’s clothes cordoned off in Dunnes and Tescos. Non essential categorising – socks were a no no at one stage, but battered sausages were fine.’

‘A school in Ballina whose teachers greeted infants at the gate on their 1st day of school in September 2020 wearing full length white coats , masks and face shields.’

‘The Abundance of Caution Picnic in the Iveagh Gardens.’

‘Sitting in the office with my 3 fellow essential colleagues for 5 days a week 8 hours a day. But if we all wanted to go back to my house on the Friday for dinner it was illegal.’

‘Cycling with a mask & no helmet.’

‘The top 10 bestsellers in Easons deemed to be essential while every other book wasn’t.’

‘Granny by the window. Nothing even comes close.’