Nobody Knows The Bubble I’ve Seen


From top: Luke O’Neill in a safety bubble on Claire Byrne Live; A question posed by journalist Ewan McKenna last week


You wanted bonkers?

‘When Pat Falvey, an antarctic survivalist, came on Claire Byrne to tell people how to eat outdoors which basically consisted of wearing 2 of everything.’

‘All episodes of the Claire Byrne show but particularly how to wear a hat and Fluke O Neill in a bubble. Stephen Donnelly’s trampoline statement. George Lee’s mad eyes. The kid on the Toy Show vaccinating a teddy. Jerusalema at Mayo hospital.’

‘That couple who rescued the dog in the Wicklow mountains being reported to the Gardai for being allegedly outside the 5km limit.’

‘Kids wiping the desks down with loads of hand sanitiser after each class. Homework copies going into quarantine for 4 days. Loudspeaker announcements throughout the school of the Covid rates.’

‘Explaining fibs v lies to the kids. In case Gardaí asked us where we were but they managed to learn off lots of towns and county names.’

‘When out walking by myself, on my own road (quiet, rural area), a car pulled up & an old lady wearing 2 masks, yellow plastic gloves & some sort of skiing glasses roared at me that I didn’t keep 2m distance from her car as she drove by me & I should be wearing a mask.’

‘In the early days, Sam McConkey suggesting on Newstalk that American tourists should be put in Mountjoy for 3 months for coming here on holiday – to ‘get the message across’.’

‘Luke O’Neill saying people shouldn’t pass the gravy boat around the Xmas dinner table. His point was the gravy should be poured on by the cook to reduce contact at the table.’

‘I still think the Superman mural of holohan is up there but O’Neill in the bubble on the Byrne show for me.’

‘People coming back from the UK eating Christmas Dinner in bed was a cracker.’

‘Guy in a car alone, wearing a mask. Taking it down to puff a cigarette and pulling it up again.’

‘If you can smell someone’s perfume outdoors you’re close enough to catch Covid –  said – yes –  Luke O’Neill.’

‘Sitting in a Cafe with mask-on for a take out. Others at tables with masks off. Someone recognised me and started talking. Glasses fogged so took off mask briefly to talk back to someone not wearing a mask at a table only to be corrected by staff.’

‘The fact that one RTÉ Prime Time report showing students and Holiday makers arriving to Ireland in January effectively made travel to the airport illegal and brought MHQ in.’

‘Some overweight journalist [Stephen Nolan] on BBC’s Northern Ireland service mobbing and attempting to gaslight fit, healthy individuals emerging maskless from a petrol station whilst getting right up in their face whilst not himself wearing a mask.’

‘Claire Byrne asking Johnny Giles what was it in particular that had him so fearful.’

‘Driving secluded back road feeling like a criminal just to get to nearest town over 5k away for big supermarket & avoid Garda check point as local village supermarket is small without as much choice & being turned back by Garda when walking local loop that passed 2km in one spot!’

‘The old guy up the road who was microwaving his newspapers to get rid of the virus – he nearly burnt the house down!’

‘GAA Goalposts getting disinfected.’

‘Chippers being essential. Children’s clothes cordoned off in Dunnes and Tescos. Non essential categorising – socks were a no no at one stage, but battered sausages were fine.’

‘A school in Ballina whose teachers greeted infants at the gate on their 1st day of school in September 2020 wearing full length white coats , masks and face shields.’

‘The Abundance of Caution Picnic in the Iveagh Gardens.’

‘Sitting in the office with my 3 fellow essential colleagues for 5 days a week 8 hours a day. But if we all wanted to go back to my house on the Friday for dinner it was illegal.’

‘Cycling with a mask & no helmet.’

‘The top 10 bestsellers in Easons deemed to be essential while every other book wasn’t.’

‘Granny by the window. Nothing even comes close.’

Great memories.

Over to you.

Full thread here

Via Stating The Obvious; A McN; Gillian Murphy; Simon Hanks; Eoghan; Excuse The Blood; Aileen Murphy; Brian Oliver; Damien Buckley

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45 thoughts on “Nobody Knows The Bubble I’ve Seen

      1. D-troll

        Bodger regularly outdoes himself with the headlines.

        i often lay in bed at night wondering how he (she? assuming he) does it. does he close his eyes and go to his happy place. or are there 1000 screaming monkeys on typewriters behind him.

  1. george

    Opening up for a few weeks at Christmas causing thousands of deaths, the highest covid-19 numbers in Europe, and leading to businesses being shut down for the following 5 months.

  2. White Dove

    Great stuff, the pandemic combined with the Irish ability to get carried away produces masterpieces of surrealism. Thankfully we have Broadsheet to keep us sane and cool.

    1. Tony


      Regular coverage of the loopy anti lockdown protests really helped remind us how histrionic, hare-brained and attention seeking Irish people can be!

      Go Raibh Maith Agat Bodger!

    2. Hyper real

      My only criticism of broadsheet is that there wasn’t more of this kind of thing and that what we did have was unfairly skewed towards blowhards

  3. Bertie blenkinsop

    Ewan MacKenna. FFS. The biggest drama queen on Twitter and that’s saying something.

  4. Redundant Proofreaders Society

    These are great.

    The panic-buying of toilet roll in March 2020 was a sight to behold.

    The glares and tuts from shoppers when your mask nudged slightly as you bent into your basket.

  5. goldenbrown

    the panicked outrage phone calls into Joe right at the very very beginning over the school ski trip, identify them! etc

    also wasn’t there a row early on over millions spent on some dodgy hand sanitiser sold to the schools containing acetone, asbestos or something unfit for purpose?

  6. Joe

    The anti vaxxers being exposed as idiots during the lockdown protests

    99.99% of decent and intelligent citizens ignoring the anti vaxxers and anti Covid protests

    Waters and O’Doherty losing their idiot court cases

    1. Cui Bono?

      Most people opposed to lockdowns and sceptical of these new experimental “vaccines” are not antivax.

      You only think they are because you’ve been propagandised and ignore the data and thousands of scientists speaking out.

      It’s nothing to do with Waters or O’Doherty too.

  7. Broadbag

    People crying into their keyboards because they have to wear a mask for the few minutes they’re in a shop.

    Adult babies bleating on about freedoms.

    Claiming your ”mental health” is at risk because you fancy going to the gym/hairdressers/golf course etc… therefore insulting and diminishing people who have actual mental health concerns.
    etc, etc…

    1. K. Cavan

      Good man, Broadbag, truly heartening to hear someone showing concern for those with mental health issues, while simultaneously dismissing people who found Lockdown wasn’t that good for their mental health.
      Where is this wonderful place you can work out & play a round of golf, whilst having your hair done? Can you consult an Oncologist or visit your elderly parents there, too?
      It’s especially touching & praiseworthy coming from among the ranks of those who actually wore masks, alone, in their cars & clearly have their own mental health issues to contend with. Straight from the Horse’s Mouth, I hear ya!

  8. SOQ

    As usual, history will judge but all of these stupid rules, because they weren’t even laws- were made by people in authority. We can now see that they were not backed by a shred of scientific evidence but that doesn’t stop the fear cult, in a strange way it motivates them.

    We were told it was to protect the vulnerable and yet, nursing home fatalities for Jan/ Feb of this year dwarfs 2020, but not a word about it, nobody wants to know- all of a sudden, granny doesn’t matter anymore. That is the maddest part of all.

    1. D-troll

      i learned that the minority sensible person with common sense was happy enough to agree and follow these stupid rules. im expecting that future studies will show that the cure was worse than the disease.

      i can see now how the nazis gained power and German consent in the 1930s. Common sense people were happy to go along with it.

      1. Micko

        “ how the nazis gained power and German consent in the 1930s”

        Also the uniforms. Hugo Boss my man. Only the best. Have you seen the rubbish the allies wore. ;)

        And the showtunes…. Oh the the fun!

        “ Don’t be stupid, be a smarty. Come and join the Nazi Party,”

    2. K. Cavan

      When people are rationalising decisions made by incompetent politicians & public servants, after the fact, Granny is merely a convenient dog-whistle. 40% of our deaths occurred in Care Homes, which could’ve been made close enough to virus-proof for less than a tenth of what Lockdown cost.
      What’s worse, the State is currently planning on using children as lab rats, ostensibly to protect the Granny who’s funeral the kids couldn’t attend. Do our politicians, unlike Ceaușescu or Eichmann, for example, realise where the death of a single child from this reckless, unjustifiable endangerment might lead?

      1. SOQ

        And that is the point- in Ireland, not a single child has died from CoVid-19, but you can be pretty certain that some will die or be injured by these injections.

        A recent study out of Israel shows that the risk of myocarditis in (mainly) young men is multiple times what it should be and there is no reason to assume that will not be the case for younger children- and that is only one condition- there are many others- some of which have not even been identified as yet.

        Where is the solemn promise- of beneficence (to do good or avoid evil) and non-maleficence (from the Latin ‘primum non nocere’, or ‘do no harm’) towards patients?

        1. Cian

          There have been Covid deaths (granted fewer than 5) in children.

          And, actually, I am “pretty certain” that there will be no children that die due a covid vaccine in Ireland.

          The “do no harm” promise doesn’t apply at the mirco level. Performing surgery (cutting open a body) is technically “doing harm” but that harm is balanced by the benefit of the surgery.
          In the same way providing group protection to millions with vaccines outweighs the (tiny) number of individuals that may be harmed. (all vaccinations not just Covid)

          1. SOQ

            Where is you data on the children’s deaths?

            How can you be certain that no children will be harmed when the odds are that some will be. Unless for some miraculous reason you believe that a vaccine which is only NOW being tested on children will not injure.

            The intent of the solemn promise is clear and universally understood- don’t even try to spin it.

            Oh and do you not have some “fact checking” to do on your own site?

          2. Cian

            There have been Covid deaths in children.

            CSO is being cautious about displaying small numbers.

            If you go to “Table 1 Profile of COVID-19 Deaths and Cases up to and including Friday April 30 2021 ” on

            You can see there have been deaths in the 0-14 age group (denoted by .. which means a number less than 5 but greater than zero).
            You can see there have been deaths in the 15-24 age group (denoted by .. which means a number less than 5 but greater than zero).

            There are a total of 4,622 deaths. If you add the deaths for named ages there are only 4,616. There are 6 deaths across 0-14, 15-24, and “age not stated”.

            re: harm to children from vaccine, I didn’t mention injury I said none would die.

          3. Cian

            Do you see the “..” beside the Deaths for Age 0-14 and 15-24?

            and then the note #5 under the table?

            ‘..’ Indicates a cell number < 5 or a cell number < 5 can be identified

            If you look at the second table (Table 2 & 2A Weekly Profile of COVID-19 Confirmed Deaths ) you can see it broken by week:
            There was at least one deaths in 0-14 on week 5thFeb;
            There was at least one deaths in 15-24 on weeks 29th Jan & 5thFeb;

          4. SOQ

            Most of those totals do not add up- if there were deaths in those age groups then why are they not stated?

          5. Cian

            The CSO doesn’t want to disclose personal information, it is standard across their site that small numbers (1..4) are replaced with a “..”. A zero value is shown as 0. A value of five or greater is shown.

            If they provide number of deaths by age-group, and median age. And there is 1 deaths with a median age of 7… you immediately can work out that the dead person was 7. If the show the same data-set by country; and again by sex; it may be possible to cross compare the tables and work out that the (made-up example happening) 7-year old was a girl that lived in Mayo. Some of their datasets broken down at Electoral Division (+1500 people) level – so it would be very possible to identify specific individuals if they didn’t do this.

            You saw I was able to do something similar on Table 2 & 2A Weekly Profile of COVID-19 Confirmed Deaths
            There was at least one death in 0-14 on week 5thFeb;
            There was at least one death in 15-24 on weeks 29th Jan & 5thFeb;

            either way, there have been children killed by Covid in Ireland.

    3. Nigel

      History will judge, but based on the criteria of effectiveness in response to a real public health emergency, not an ever-shifting miasma of paranoia, conspiracy thinking, narcissism, and endless streams of disposable stories and studies that ‘prove’ things they don’t actually prove.

  9. K. Cavan

    NOBODY under 16 died in Ireland from Covid.
    A total of 2 people under 25 died.
    A 106-year-old & a 104-year-old also “died from Covid”.
    I’ll treat your comment that you’re “pretty sure” no children will die from injection side-effects with the contempt it deserves.
    Are you a liar or just ignorant?
    Either way, it’s disgraceful to utter such serious untruths on any public forum.

  10. Lilly

    People crossing the road when they saw someone coming towards them walking up the village.

  11. f_lawless

    HSE: Hey can you get us some of those ventilators from China?
    Shady ROQU Group: Yep. Give us 14.1 million euro up front.
    HSE: But first, what are your credentials?
    ROQU: Nothing medical-related as such and we don’t even have any accounts or trading history, but we did put on a few events in the Middle East .
    HSE: Sounds good. Here ye go, so..
    HSE: Hey these ventilators are faulty. We can’t use them.
    ROQU: What do you want us to do about it?
    HSE: Ah sure, it’s only taxpayer’s money anyway

    1. GiggidyGoo

      Would you like to set up a private testing business? That €14m must be put to good use. We will make sure that our own tests won’t be accepted for travel, but yours will. Love, HSE

  12. f_lawless

    “Simon Harris: Anti-lockdown protests are attacks on democracy” ran the headline – the day before St Patrick’s day of this year which saw a completely over-the-top massive mobilisation of gardai in order to prevent people gathering together to exercise their democratic right to protest.
    “Clothes are not essential” says the Minister for State on RTE’s Prime Time. “That seems mad minister” replies Miriam O’Callaghan

  13. Lilly

    Park ranger asking people to vacate the (spacious) park because cocooners only at lunchtime.

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