What you may need to know:
1. This trailer features dwarf-tossing.
2. Marty Scorsese and Leo Di Caprio – they’re back! With Jonah Hill! And McConaughey!
3. Think Goodfellas (1990), only with yuppies.
4. That Best Supporting Actor Oscar is already McConaughey’s. And Leo’s probably due one, too.
5. People complain that Scorsese hasn’t done anything decent in years. To which we say: shut up.
Bottom Line: Best trailer of the year to date. We couldn’t be more excited.
Release Date: Winter
What you may need to know.
1. Spoiler Alert: They all died in 300 (2006). Well, nearly all of them. This is half prequel, half sequel. Whatevs..
2. While we’re at it… Anyone remember Mickey Fassbender in the first one?
3. It’s based on a yet-to-be-published graphic novel by 300 creator Frank Miller.
4. Always nice to see Best Bond Girl actress EVER Eva Green.
5. Prognosis: This! Is! Superfluous!
Release Date: March 2014
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL3Y6mqqdeY
What you may need to know:
1. Big deal at Sundance this year. I know, right?
2. Written by, directed by and starring Lake Bell. We do love Lake Bell.
3. Hip comedy cast: Demetri Martin, Rob Corddry, Ken Marino, Fred ‘A Serious Man’ Melamed and Nick ‘Parks & Rec’ Offerman
4. Inspired in part by the legendary Don ‘The Voice’ Fontaine.
5. Prognosis: We love a quirky lil’ indie comedy.
Release Date: TBC
Thanks Ruairi Carroll
What you may need to know
1. Confession: we never really cared for The Lord Of The Rings trilogy.
2. Confession Part 2: we actually thought The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) was all right, even though it took about two hours to get going.
3. Orlando Bloom’s had some digital work done. Remember when Orlando Bloom was a thing?
4. Hey! It’s Kate from Lost!
5. Sylvester McCoy – the Jar Jar Binks of The Hobbit?
6. Cumberbatch voices the dragon.
7. Peter Jackson really needs to knock the CGI and Green Screen on the head for a bit. That said, his first post Hobbit flick is a bloody Tintin sequel.
8. While we’re at it… What about that Game Of Thrones finale?
Release Date: Christmas
Previously: The Desolation Of Smaug: First Trailer
What you may need to know:
1. Insidious (2010) was a dumb horror movie that made a LOT of money. FRANCHISE!
2. Confusingly, the guy who made this (James Wan) has done another haunted house movie, The Conjuring (2013) starring the same actor, Patrick Wilson.
3. That said, we do love Patrick Wilson. He excels at playing emasculated males – Little Children (2006), Watchmen (2009) – and was in that really weird episode of Girls.
4. All horror movie trailers are pretty much exactly the same these days: discuss.
Release Date: September
What you may need to know:
1. It’s your annual Woody Allen movie.
2. It’s been a given that 77-year old Woody’s output is rather hit and miss these days. We estimate an average of one-in-every-three or so is worth a gander.
3. That said, Midnight In Paris (2011) won an Oscar and was his biggest box-office hit EVER.
4. Woody doesn’t shoot in his beloved Manhattan much these days – this one’s set in San Francisco.
5. The cast includes Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin, Louis CK, Boardwalk Empire bad-ass Bobby Canavale and ’80s comic Andrew Dice Clay.
6. Anybody for a Ford Farlaine (1990) sequel?
Release date: Autumn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yg9gTY5TOo
What you may need to know:
1. Terrible title.
2. Justin Timberlake is really determined to be a movie star.
3. We love bad slo-mo Ben Affleck. The tan makes his teeth extra white.
4. It’s written by the guys who wrote Rounders (1998). Now that’s a gambling flick.
5. Affleck appears to be auditioning for the role of Lex Luthor in the Man Of Steel sequel. Sold.
6. Poor Gemma Arterton.
7. Wait… Did we just watch the whole movie?
Release date: September
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKTDP2NEQwM
What you may need to know
1. Harrison Ford fans might be in for a bit of a shock. He’s rocking a new hair-do. Or lack thereof.
2. Truth be told, it’s been a looooooong time since Harrison Ford mattered. But back in the day, he was the man. He’s got four movies out this year, including Anchorman 2 (2013). Then there’s the whole Star Wars: Episode 7 (2015) thing.
3. It doesn’t hurt to have Gaz Oldman in the mix either. Oldman and Ford last shared the screen in Air Force One (1997). All together, now: ‘Get off my plane!’
4. Who’s the kid? Liam Hemsworth, from The Hunger Games (2012). His brother plays Thor.
5. Wait a minute… Was that Richard Dreyfuss?
Prognosis: Scenery will be chewed. Oh yes.
Release Date: Autumn
What you may need to know:
1. Those anticipating a Bobby De Niro renaissance after his Oscar nominated turn in Silver Linings Playbook (2012) should check The Big Wedding (2013), currently screening in Irish cinemas. Or not. It’s BRUTAL.
2. The Family is by Euro thriller specialist Luc Besson, who’s been directing less and producing more of late, most notably the Taken movies.
3. Bobby De & Tommy Lee have both perfected what can only be described as their ‘see if I give a bollocks, I’m getting paid, bitches’ faces.
4. Michelle Pfeiffer doesn’t do too many movies these days. Also, she hasn’t aged in about twenty years, which FREAKS US OUT.
5. Hey, it’s Quinn from Glee! Is that still, like, a thing?
6. Prognosis: Bobby, give Marty a bell.
Release Date: Autumn
What you may need to know:
1. The first Machete (2010) was a movie based upon a fake trailer inserted between ill-fated Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez mash-up Grindhouse (2007).
2. Guess what? Machete the movie wasn’t half as good as the trailer, to say the least. That said, Don Johnson was pretty awesome.
3. Rodriguez only co-directed the first Machete (2010) – wisely, he’s solo in the driving seat for the sequel. He’s also done a Sin City (2005) sequel, due later this year. Hopefully he’s got his mojo back after that horrible Spy Kids reboot.
4. Danny Trejo, who plays Machete, is 69 years old. We still wouldn’t mess with him.
5. Steven Seagal was the baddie last time out. This time, they’ve got downmarket and hired Mel ‘Sugar Tits’ Gibson. Lady Gaga makes her ‘acting’ debut. Charlie Sheen plays the US president. What is this? TMZ: The Movie?
Release Date: September
