British Prime Minister Theresa May and Chinese Premier Li Keqiang in Bejing yesterday
Mrs May gave a new DVD
To China’s top communist Xi
About creatures that ought to
Thrive under the water
If we stopped throwing crap in the sea
John Moynes
Pic: getty
When showing kids Paddington Bear
It’s vital that you take good care
I’m sure you’ll agree
You don’t want them to see
Any nipples, or worse, pubic hair.
John Moynes
Pic: StudioCanal
Eamon De Valera campaigning on January 1, 1948
Now
Now is the time for complacency
Let us take our shoulders from the wheel
The road ahead is easy
The distant sunlit uplands real
Tús maith, leath na hoibre
And we have started very well
So now relax each muscle fibre
Await the peal of Victory’s bell.
John Moynes
Pic: getty
UK’s Brexit secretary David Davis hopes Ireland will support its bid for a trade agreement
For a year now the British have shown
That it’s hard to strike out on your own
And it seems now they feel
We’ll help them get a deal
The substance of which is unknown
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
A few years back there was a big shock
When Pluto got a nasty knock
But the public persuaded
The nerds. They upgraded
Our hero. You’re back, you great rock.
John Moynes
Pic: Nasa
UPDATE: Fake news (see comments)
The Long Hall, South Great George’s Street, Dublin 2 Dublin on Good Friday last year
It’s a good year for people who feel
That it’s finally time to repeal
An outdated ban
So start making your plan
For Good Friday drinking’s now real
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Taoiseach Leo Varadkar (left) and Housing Minister Eoghan Murphy
Our house prices now are so bad
That they’re making millenials sad
But there’s no need to weep
As long as you keep
In the good books of your mum and dad.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Britney Spears (above) will play the 3Arena, Dubin in August
This is music to everyone’s ears
For the first time in several years
She’s going on tour
So make sure you procure
Some tickets to see Britney Spears.
John Moynes
Pic: Britneyspears.com
US President Donald Trump
It’s not a good start to the year
If you’re threatening to go nuclear
So just panic and flail
And cower and wail
And do nothing but try to spread fear.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
12% of Norwegians use ‘snus’, a form of snuff particular to Nordic countries
In Norway they’ve brought in some tough
Rules on smoking, and so sure enough
It’s farewell cancer sticks
They’re now getting their fix
By filling their nostrils with snuff.
John Moynes
Pic: AFP
