The i.Con Smart Condom Ring, described as “wearable tech for the bedroom”
Is there anyone out there who’s said
As they’re taking a lover to bed
“If I only could track
What I do on my back,
I can’t keep these stats in my head”?
John Moynes
Pic: i.con
‘yeti hair’ samples were found to belong to bears and dogs
A stuffed yeti, a fabulous beast
That came from a hill in the east
Turns out to have hair
That comes from a bear
So it seems that the buyer was fleeced
John Moynes
After a long liquid lunch
A sports star gave someone a punch
It’s rather a shame
That we don’t have a name
But I’m sure that we all have a hunch
John Moynes
Christmas jumpers for dogs on sale at Aldi
Now as we draw evermore near
To the tackiest time of the year
You can go the whole hog
And dress up your dog
And spread tidings of canine good cheer.
John Moynes
Pic: Aldi
Meanwhile…Does your pet enjoy Christmas? Send your pet at Xmas to broadsheet@broadsheet.ie marked ‘My Pet At Xmas’.
Today’s weather forecasts all show
A definite sub zero low
So always think twice
Before driving on ice
Dress warmly and mind how you go.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
US Republican congressman Joe Barton (Texas)
There are pictures on twitter that show
A Republican congressman Joe
In the quite recent past
With his flag at full mast
What it looks like I don’t want to know.
John Moynes
Pic: AP
This survey reveals vital news
For people who like to buy booze
Always include
The effect on your mood
When deciding which tipple to choose.
John Moynes
Pic: Shutterstock
Some philosophers say there should not
Be a ban on the high tech sex bot
The boffins agreed
That they fulfill a need
And add that they’re also quite hot.
John Moynes
Pic: The Fedaralist
Above from left: Sinn Féin President Gerry Adam, leader of Sinn Féin in the Northern Ireland Assembly Michelle O’Neill and Deputy president Mary Lou McDonald at the party’s Ard Fheis in the RDS, Dublin last Saturday.
If what they are saying is true
The Shinners will have Mary Lou
Instead of old Gerry
Which seems to be very
Convenient. No voting to do.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Sand on Ashleam Beach, Achill Island, County Mayo has returned
On an island far out to the west
The locals all know that they’re blessed
A new beach at Dooagh
Now Ashleam makes it two
In the one year. Now who could have guessed?
John Moynes
Pic: Google Earth/irishTimes
