Minister for Finance Michael Noonan and Minister for Public Expenditure Paschal Donohoe at government buildings earlier this month.
Our unfortunate ministers fear
That they won’t get to spread much good cheer
Just two euros a week
But they have the cheek
To call it a hundred a year.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton ahead of last night’s US Presidential Debate
I stayed up late into the night
To see a magnificent sight
Each of the pair
Had incredible hair
And one spoke incredible shite.
John Moynes
Pic: Associated Press
‘Anti-Isis coalition’ including Ireland (top) and without (above)
It turns out the facts weren’t quite right
On a US Defence Force website
It said we were willing
To help with the killing
But Ireland is not in this fight.
John Moynes
Rat Pant, among the strangest scientific research of the year
If you’ve ever figured out that
Polyester looks good on a rat
Or made yourself wise
By studying lies
Then you’re an Ig Nobel copycat.
John Moynes
Pic: the Annals of Improbable Research
Taoiseach Enda Kenny with farmer Gerard King at the National Ploughing Championship on Tuesday
The festival we all adore
Is happening near Tullamore
And anytime now
The King of the Plough
Will be crowned and his subjects will roar.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
One thing that brings everyone down
Is the wide vacant grin of a clown
A word to the wise:
This trend’s on the rise
And soon it will come to your town.
John Moynes
Pic: Pixabay/MGN
Donald Trump Jnr
At first you might find it quite sweet
When Donald’s son offers a treat
But the taste of the pill
Will make you quite ill
As he’s laced it with racist deceit.
John Moynes
Pic: Associated press
This news won’t shock anyone here:
There’s a side effect to drinking beer
It makes you less shy
And that may be why
It gets your groin into top gear.
John Moynes
Senator Catherine Noone arriving at the Keadeen Hotel in Newbridge, Co Kildare, for the annual Fine Gael Think-In on Monday
At first just Michelle, but then soon
She was echoed by Senator Noone
Each would make her mark
In the stands at Croke Park
While humming an entitled tune.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Devon grandmother Rozamund Perrin and underwear posted to her with an angry note.
If you buy a cottage in Devon
don’t hang on your washing line seven
Pairs of frilly pants
Or you’ll receive rants
Of the kind that you won’t hear in Heaven.
John Moynes
Pics: Kent Express & Echo
