Model Kaylen Ward is raising money for Australian bushfire relief by offering nude photos in exchange for donations
When you’re fighting climate change it’s
A smart move to take pics of your bits
For some men don’t care
How the kangaroos fare
But they’re willing to pay to see tits
John Moynes
Pic: Twitter
Google’s carbon-emitting Euro Date Centre, Grange Castle, Dublin 22
Most people in Ireland agree
That there’s jobs to be had in I.T.
But will we give thanks
To the vast data banks
If they lead to a rise in the sea?
John Moynes
US President Donald Trump (left) and General Qassim Soleimani, head of Iran’s elite Quds Force, who was killed during an airstrike at Baghdad International Airport
Well Donald finds his job a chore
And impeachment’s a terrible bore
So he’s blown up a man
Who comes from Iran
As he thinks what he heeds is a war
John Moynes
AP
Tánaiste and Minister of Foreign Affairs Simon Coveney has warned that agreement on the restoration of power sharing in Northern Ireland must be reached in the coming days
Simon Coveney has made a bold claim
That the talks have now reached the endgame
But while they’ve agreed
That they’d like to proceed
For now they’re still handing out blame
John Moynes
Taoiseach Leo Varadkar
It’s starting to look very clear
That we’ll have an election next year
But still we must wait
Till they agree a date
And then we’ll see posters appear
John Moynes
That’s the last of John’s 2019 ‘ricks.
Normal service will resume in January.
Covers of this morning’s The Oklahoman, USA Today, The Washington Post and The New York Times
Sometimes in history we reach
A moment that really should teach
If you set out to try
To break laws and lie
Then Congress may vote to impeach
John Moynes
US President Donald Trump’s letter to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi complaining about unfair treatment
Donald has fired off a note
Ahead of the impeachment vote
He’s feeling so tense
That it doesn’t make sense
And all he can do is emote.
John Moynes
A 30-year-old biscuit tin is where New Zealand MPs choose which members’ bills to be presented to parliament
In New Zealand a small biscuit tin
Is used to keep members’ bills in
Then the Speaker’s hand
Can fall on one and
A random debate can begin
John Moynes
Pic: Wikimedia
It is no longer safe to have two standard drinks a day, Australian health officials have warned
Many Australians choose
To fill up their evenings with booze
But Oz boffins say
That two drinks a day
Is an option that one should refuse
John Moynes
Pic: The Age
From left: Boris Johnson, Jeremy Corbyn, Jo Swinson and Nigel Farage
A ballot’s a wonderful sight
You’ve candidates: left wing and right
Now Brits get to choose
Which faction will lose
And which side will party tonight
John Moynes
Illustration: Mainlondon
