Volunteers in New Zealand and Spain calculated longitude and latitude to perfectly align both slices of the ‘earth sandwich’
A couple of sandwich fans said
They wanted a treat in their bread
As ham and cheese filling
Is no longer thrilling
They’re using the whole world instead
John Moynes
Pics: Etienne Naude/Guardian
Irish Rents rose by 40 per cent from 2007 to 2019, the second highest increase in the European Union, according to Eurostat
I’d say you’d feel fairly content
If you’re making your living off rent
So much cash rolls in
That it feels like a sin
As you’re counting the blessings you’re sent
John Moynes
The moustache of US Ambassador Harry Harris, who is Japanese-American, reminds many South Koreans of Japan’s colonial rule
A US ambassador chose
To grow a ‘tache under his nose
But Koreans don’t care
For his facial hair
Which seems an imperialist pose
John Moynes
Getty
US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi hands out ceremonial pens to Democrat colleagues following the signing of Articles of Impeachment against President Donald Trump yesterday
So many Republican men
Got up on their high horses when
They found out that Nancy
Was fond of a fancy
Ceremonial custom-made pen
John Moynes
Getty
Former Renault-Nissan boss Carlos Ghosn’s escape has inspired internet copycats to fit themselves in
If you find that you have lost face
And want to sneak out of some place
Then folks in the know
Suggest you don’t go
Inside an instrument case
John Moynes
AP
Researchers in the US have created the first living machines by assembling cells from African clawed frogs into tiny robots that move around under their own steam
Some boffins are building a bot
Are they using transistors? They’re not
They take living cells
And if it all gels
They watch it to see what they’ve got.
John Moynes
Graph: The Guardian
Britain’s Duke and Duchess of Sussex are seeking to register the “Sussex Royal” brand as a global trademark for a range of items and activities including clothing, stationery and the running of “emotional support groups”
The Sussexes have announced that
From now on they’ll swing their own bat
Don’t worry, they’re grand
They’re starting a brand
To flog lots of cheap royal tat
John Moynes
AP
Minister of State at the Department of Finance Michael D’Arcy (left) with Minister for Finance Paschal Donohoe
A Junior Minister, Mike
Noticed premiums taking a hike
So he’s fixing a flaw
In our insurance law
So people can do as they like
John Moynes
Taoiseach Leo Varadkar (left) and Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin will meet today amid rumours that a General Election is to be called
The grown ups are meeting today
And we’d all like to know what they’ll say
Will the leaders extol
A February poll
Or convince themselves that they should stay?
John Moynes
Almond milk requires almonds, which grow on trees with flowers, which require bees to pollinate them
If you’re trying to live dairy-free
But can’t think what to put in your tea
You could try almond milk
Or something of its ilk
But don’t say you’re a friend of the bee
John Moynes
Pic: Olive magazine
