Tag Archives: Kevin Higgins

Arrivals hall at Dublin Airport last weekend 

The Happy Song of Us

Okay to buy your grandchild an ice-cream.
Illegal for them to lick it.
Fine to bake granny
a gleaming fruit cake,
as long as you only email her
a high resolution photo of it.
Okay to give your son or daughter
a bright new football.
Illegal for them to kick it.
Permissible to purchase for yourself
a new set of golf sticks or a tennis racket.
Illegal to hit anything with them
outside the confines of your own
downstairs bathroom.

You can’t have a friend around for a meal
unless both of you have been
fitted with gum shields.
And should you go for a socially distanced walk
with a lover
butt-plugs are now mandatory.

Every living room is its own flat-pack factory
singing the happy song of us,
hammering together our coffins.

Kevin Higgins

23-12-20

RollingNews

Bono and The Edge on the Late Late Show Busk for Simon special on RTÉ 1 last Friday night

kevin Higgins writes:

I am rededicating this poem to the crawlers and sycophants who (without so much as a critical whisper) joined tax avoiding multimillionaire (and supporter of the political and economic status quo) Bono on last Friday’s Late Late Show Busk for Simon. Shane MacGowan is given special dispensation as he probably thought Bono was Engelbert Humperdinck.

My Wishes For You

That your son at Trinity College
may graduate
to become a rogue gynaecologist.
That his brother, the paediatrician,
be suspended without pay.
That your husband be caught
selling wheelchairs that don’t work
live on national radio. And the day

you discover all of the above, may
the traffic wardens, every one of them,
be East Galway Gestapo. May you lose
your winning ticket,
and the gun not go off
when it’s supposed to.

May your reflux be acid
and your bowel be cranky.
May your water forever be cloudy
and the pharmacy be shut.
May the funeral parlour
refuse you,

and the lies you told haunt you
long after the cat
has made a litter tray of your ashes.

Kevin Higgins

Pic: RTÉ

Kevin Higgins

Kevin writes:

A new poem inspired by people who claim to be all for equality but, if they live in the US, wouldn’t support [Bernie] Sanders; if they live in the UK wouldn’t support [Jeremy] Corbyn; and if they live in Ireland would never vote Sinn Féin.

Our Posh Liberal Friends
(for Susan)

Whenever I show them the Future,
they refuse it;
say: this future has bad hair,
waves its arms around too much,
is too Jewish,
or not Jewish enough,
too not-a-woman,
or the wrong sort of woman.

This Future has a face that one day
might raise the corporate tax rate
by zero point five percent,
and is a little too insistent
that poor people be allowed live,
give or take, as long as the rest of us.
That sort of thing scares the people we dine with
nights we’re not dining with you.

I ask the barman for more finger food,
picture the ocean raging into the restaurant,
and them still sat there muttering at the chicken goujons:
the people we talk to won’t vote for
such extreme solutions. No one wants to live in Cuba,
one of them says, as she’s washed out the door.

I pray, when all the futures
they’ve turned their noses up at
are safely in the mud
and the men in boots and leather come
to escort us all to the Processing Centre
in the back of a truck
that I be shot, cleanly through the skull, at the front gate,
so I don’t suffer their groans
about the quality of the gruel,
and how that last beating one of them got
was clearly in breach of the Human Rights Act
and worthy of a curtly worded,
but still civil, letter to The Observer.

Kevin Higgins

Kevin Higgins.

You’ve read his poetry.

Now wear it.

Sweden-born artist Gunilla Andersson, whose photograph features on the cover of poet Kevin”s latest book, has made jewellery – brooches, earrings, and necklaces – featuring lines from Kevin’s poems.

This jewellery is now on sale, with 100% of the proceeds going to Galway Cope Homeless Services.

Gunilla says:

“I met Kevin at a poetry reading in a wine cellar in Galway late 90s when I was spending a summer working with Macnas, preparing for the Arts Festival. We have been friends ever since and somehow now was the time for a collaboration. He needed a cover picture for his latest poetry bundle and I suggested randomly adding his words to my pictures, printing them out, and cutting them up to see what happened. This jewelry is the result.”

kevin says:

“We are selling each brooch, necklace, and pair of earrings for €20.This offer is specifically available to those in Galway and surrounding counties as you should contact me on 087-6431748 to make an appointment to choose and collect your favourite necklace, pair of earrings, or brooch. As well as being something you might wear, these could become collector’s items for poetry aficionados.”

To purchase a piece of the jewellery, and a copy of Kevin’s book see here.

Irish-made stocking fillers to broadsheet@broadsheet.ie marked ‘irish-made Stocking Fillers.

President Michael D Higgins (centre) presents Roderic O’Gorman, Minister for Children, Disability Equality and Integration, his seal of office watched by Taoiseach, Micheál Martin at Dublin Castle last June

Kevin writes:

A new poem inspired by President Michael D signing the Mother and Baby Homes secrecy bill. Apart from the bit about the fourth world war, which hasn’t happened yet, it’s more or less a true story.

Presidential

When you finish reading this poem,
you’ll remember only
the Black Forest Gateaux
I bought you once.

I had no option but to vote for
that tax on women’s shoes
but greatly admired the fight you put up against it;
have kept all the press cuttings,
especially those that took care not to mention me.

As you, me, and the mirror know
I’ve always been a great
pro-choice advocate;
that’s why I spent thirty years
never mentioning the issue.

When I stop talking
all you’ll remember is
the Black Forest Gateaux
I bought you once.

When I signed this bill to keep
what we did to the children secret,
you, me, and my bodyguards know
how vehemently I’m against it.

Trick is: what to remember
and what not,
because of a Black Forest Gateaux
I ordered you once.

The history books are littered with
shit I voted for but was against
in the restaurant afterwards,
as I eyed the Black Forest Gateaux
and thought of you.

And as I explain at length in my book
‘The Art of Statecraft’,
when the Fourth World War descends
and the division bell rings,
I’ll have no alternative but to leap up –
with nothing in my heart but peace –
and, at best, abstain.

As you’re vapourised
you’ll remember nothing
but the Black Forest Gateaux
I fed you once.

Kevin Higgins

Previously: ‘My Department Engaged Extensively With The AG’s Office’

Free December 4?

You are invited…

…To the Zoom launch of poet Kevin Higgins’ new book The Colour Yellow & The Number 19 – Negative Thoughts That Helped One Man Mostly Retain His Sanity During 2020 (Nuascéalta).

To wit

In a mix of poetry and prose, Kevin Higgins takes a darkly humorous approach to finding himself designated one of the “vulnerable” during the year in which plague again stalked the Earth.

He also, as is his way, finds time to drop acerbic comment on the heads of the ungood and the ungreat, and to comment in a fairly unrestrained fashion on world affairs.

This is the ideal Christmas or Birthday present for Irish Green Party Leader Eamon Ryan and for those who, when the time comes, hope to be invited to Kevin’s funeral. It is also the perfect gift for the posh liberal in your life.

The book will be launched by Somatic therapist Aisling Richmond and writer and critic Tomás Mac Siomóin. The MC for the evening will be poet Rachel Coventry.

Join the meeting here (Meeting ID: 738 901 3549) at 6.30pm, Friday, December 4

The Colour Yellow & The Number 19 (Nuascéalta)

Irish-made stocking fillers to broadsheet@broadsheet.ie marked ‘Irish-Made Stocking Fillers’.

Soon to be demolished site of the Oasis nightclub, Salthill, Galway

Kevin Higgins writes:

This is poem is from my 2005 debut collection The Boy With No Face. In it I take a comic look at my mostly unsuccessful attempts at wooing the opposite gender in nightclubs such as The Oasis in Salthill, which is now to be demolished. For the most part, the ladies in question very wisely ran away.

Letter to a Friend about Girls
(after Philip Larkin)

What losers we were when it came to girls.
‘Pull up to my bumper baby, drive it in between’
played soundtrack to the wet dreams
of small, inconsequential fellas, the likes of us.
And we’re talking small on an almost monumental scale.
In duffel coats and awful glasses
we shuffled around the edges of other people’s parties
all through the eighties,
gawking down in the general direction
of our stupid, stupid shoes.
If charisma could be distilled,
ours would have been measured
in somewhat less than millilitres.
So small, we barely existed.

On the rare occasions when opportunity
—the tastiest variety—put herself there
to be availed of and there was nothing for it
but to press the advantage all the way home,
we either failed to spot the most obvious signals
—our radar were useless at picking incoming aircraft up—
or else managed to inexplicably miss.
She grinned through the worst jokes
and was clearly prepared to overlook that duffel coat,
but the score on the board stubbornly somehow stayed zero.
The goal could be yawning wide open
and still the ball would either trickle
pathetically wide or go sailing miles over.
And just what exactly were we supposed to say
as another cut-price night at The Oasis declined
(with no bachelor flat to which she might be lured back)?
“Let’s explore the universe with my last fifty pence piece.
If I empty my pockets perhaps I could stretch as far as a kebab.”

Kevin Higgins

US President Donald Trump (left) and Democrat Presidential candidate Joe Biden

The Joke
(after Walter Benjamin)

A barrel of industrial waste poured into a suit
donated by a casino owner who knows people
with a tangerine tea towel tossed strategically on top
because it was the only available metaphor for hair
was running for re-election as CEO of South Canadia
against an old coat with holes in it.

The barrel of waste was trailing
histrionically among professors emeritus
whose brains were in the process of being dismantled
by lethargy and time, and among those
who, as and when the stock market permits,
take a year off to celebrate their dividends
by doing good works among brown people in far countries
not lucky enough to have stock markets or dehumidifiers.
Such people agreed with each other that the barrel of waste
made the raging boil on the nation’s privates
way too obvious, and hoped by throwing
the old coat over it they could again
forget it was there.

The barrel of waste said the old coat couldn’t deliver
on the promises he wasn’t making,
and maintained good leads among morticians,
pimps, and police informants
and had the total bastard vote
ninety nine percent sewn up –
in essence everyone except the late John DeLorean
and perhaps Alan Dershowitz.

There was a minority faction who wanted the boil
on the nation’s privates given free antibiotics, lanced
with a big needle imported from Sweden
and then cauterised. But most people found
though they were in favour, in their hearts,
of lancing the boil,
in practice they were for
allowing the boil to grow redder, angrier, more toxic
under the old coat with holes in it.

So the minority extremist faction
who wanted the thing treated
were sentenced to the echo chamber
to argue about whether the old coat
with holes in it really
was the lesser evil.

The midwife of history,
grown bored with the year twenty twenty,
had decided to play one of her jokes.

Kevin Higgins

Earlier: Mudslide

Getty

Poet Kevin Higgins

This morning.

Kevin Higgins has responded to criticism of his poem posted yesterday to mark the 5th anniversary of the Carrickmines fire.

Kevin writes:

I grew up mostly, from the age of seven, in the Rahoon/Newcastle area of Galway City. We moved here in 1974, and I have lived back here since 2004. This area has been notorious for its anti-traveller racism, much of it stoked by local politicians. The area has even added the word “Rahoonery” to the language.

I know the voice of the anti-traveller racist, which I channel for satirical purposes in my poem ‘After The Barbecue’, intimately. I am happy that this poem has provoked outrage; I think the idea that a tasteful poem should be written about such an event is itself a disgrace.

There was nothing tasteful about what happened and certainly nothing tasteful about the anti-traveller protests of those Carrickmines residents.

The Irish poetry world is awash with tasteful poets. I do not aspire to be part of that tradition. Mine is the tradition of Brecht and Swift, neither of whom, despite their very varying politics, gave any consideration to what crying liberals and closet racists considered tasteful.

In this sense, though I don’t take pseudonymous comments on the internet very seriously, I embrace the distaste of some of the commenters on this poem. I am delighted that I have succeeded in exposing the fact that they appear to be far more exercised by a poem than they were about the deaths of these travellers, and the racism of local residents.

Let them get up an online petition against this poem; I couldn’t care less. If anyone has a serious critique of this poem, let them write an article about it and publish it somewhere.

Kevin Higgins

Yesterday: People Like Us

The aftermath on the morning of October 10, 2015 at a halting site on Glenamuck Road in Carrickmines, Dublin 18 where a fire broke out killing Thomas Connors, 27, his wife Sylvia, 30, and their children Jim, five, Christy, three, and six-month-old Mary; Willie Lynch, 25, his partner 27-year-old Tara Gilbert, who was pregnant, and their daughters Jodie, aged nine, and Kelsey, four; and 39-year-old Jimmy Lynch, a brother of Willy.

Kevin Higgins writes:

Below is a poem I wrote at the time of the Carrickmines fire (and the resident’s protest against the surviving traveller’s being temporarily relocated) and published in 2016.  I thought, given the 5th anniversary, it might be suitable.

After the Barbecue

People like us,
always been here
and always will,
until we bequeath this land
to the bacteria.
We were fine with
the War of the Spanish Succession,
only thought it not quite long enough.
When the day gets here we’ll happily
bless our great-grand-children as they go guffawing
off to the next officially sanctioned
bloodbath of the nations. But have agreed,
by unanimous vote at tonight’s meeting,
we must
build a barricade against this.

Those people’s demise –
Thomas and Sylvia, their children Jim, aged 5;
Christy, aged 2 and Mary, five-months-old.
Willie Lynch and his partner Tara,
their Kelsey aged 4, Jodie aged 9.
And Jimmy Lynch, 39 –
in the Carrickmines
barbecue is a tragedy

made all the worse by how
it contented itself
with half-measures.
We won’t have the gypsy leftovers put
in the field across from us,
to mar our hard earned view
of the surrounding countryside.

We are not the Ku Klux Klan,
in fact are profoundly jealous
of their much better outfits
and all the great movies
they, without fail, get to turn up in.
We but dream of riding horses
sharp as theirs, as we make our stand
in defence of what we see out the window
when we alight of a morning
on our genetically superior
polished, wooden floors.

These people’s Kentucky Fried
relatives are not our issue to solve.
We have scribbled our names
in their book of condolences.
but you, me, and The Evening Herald know
we are what most of the country thinks
when it draws its floral curtains,
shuts its eyelids and tells itself
truths it will never utter in polite company,
or in front of nuns who do great work
in the third world and other parts
of Africa. We realise
we’ll be vilified by people
the majority of whom wouldn’t have them either.

We just don’t want them here,
or, if possible, anywhere else.

Kevin Higgins

Previously: Carrickmines Fire on Broadsheet

RollingNews